The chaotic flightpath of the Ryanair jet speaks to some dire misadventure – serious mechanical failure, perhaps, or a medical emergency onboard.
The aircraft proceeds west after take-off from Edinburgh, traversing West Lothian, Lanarkshire and Ayrshire, then suddenly banks a few miles from the coast, enters a tight turn and heads back east across the country again.
It circles three times over Peebles in the Scottish Borders before being cleared for landing on the same runway where it took off.
The reason for the abortive holiday flight? Three men and a bottle of vodka.
Thanks to them, a planeload of sunseekers spent the afternoon uselessly circumnavigating the Central Belt.
Police in Gdansk, Poland, remove a drunken passenger from a London flight
Within moments of touchdown, police officers were on board, ordering the intoxicated trio to identify their bags in the overhead lockers.
Then they were escorted up the aisle to the exit as the pilot requested another slot for take-off, which took an hour to come.
‘It was obvious before we left that one of them who was next to me was drunk,’ said a Spanish passenger after arriving hours late in Lanzarote last Friday.
‘He stank of alcohol and was vaping without any qualms.
‘After the plane took off, they started shouting stuff in English and got out a bottle of vodka that was almost empty before an air stewardess took it and the e-cigarette off them.’
A few days earlier, it was a flight out of Glasgow which didn’t get anywhere near the Canary Islands.
This time it was a Jet2 aircraft destined for Tenerife which put down at Shannon Airport in Ireland to offload an apparently drunk passenger.
Garda officers were sent aboard to drag the young man off.
He progressed, prostrate, up the aisle wearing only shorts, his wrists handcuffed behind his back and legs bound together with an extension seatbelt.
All told, the costs incurred by the diversion ran into five figures – a sum the airline will ‘vigorously’ pursue the passenger to repay. It is standard procedure in Jet2’s ‘zero tolerance’ approach to disruptive behaviour on aircraft.
The problem for passengers is by the time the zero-tolerance approach kicks in, it is often too late.
They are in the air and face lengthy delays to their journeys if their flights are forced to divert.
It is either that or share cabin space with the troublemakers all the way to their destination.
Police deal with a brawling passenger
Indeed, although the zero-tolerance mantra is now industry-wide, it does little to offset the extreme levels of tolerance demanded of blameless holidaymakers as flights to the sun are disrupted by loutish and often drunk passengers.
Alcohol-fuelled ‘air-rage’, it seems, is back with a vengeance.
In 2019, some 373 incidents were reported by UK airlines to the Civil Aviation Authority (CAA) – as they are obliged to do.
The number fell substantially during Covid, but rocketed to 1,028 cases in 2022. The CAA has yet to reveal the figure for 2023.
And, in the first six months of 2024, a catalogue of incidents has been recorded involving flights from Glasgow and Edinburgh airports alone.
‘The worst flight of my life,’ commented David Love, from Kirkcaldy, Fife, after a Ryanair service from Edinburgh to Tenerife made an unscheduled stop in Portugal in February to offload brawling yobs.
Bottles were thrown and children were left ‘terrified’ and ‘in tears’, he told the Daily Record.
‘It was rowdy from the start. Everybody could see it kicking off, but the stewards were powerless.There was a couple of scuffles and they decided to divert the plane and then it got worse and a bigger fight broke out.’
He added: ‘There should be a breathalyser test for passengers to complete before flying.’
Days earlier, on the same service, two men and a woman started shouting and swearing at each other before punches were thrown.
Video footage captured by passenger Hannah MacDonald showed the louts storming up and down the aisle and yelling at anyone trying to intervene.
She told the BBC: ‘It was as if they were the only people on their flight, their surroundings didn’t matter. It was insane.
‘They were very drunk. It was as if they were on another planet.’
In the same month, cabin crew on an easyJet flight from Glasgow to Lisbon fought to restrain a man as he shouted and swore that he would kill them.
Reportedly drinking red wine throughout the morning flight, the man had tried to engage the passenger in the row behind by demanding he shake his hand, according to one witness.
When he was ignored, he tried to kiss the passenger on the lips and, on being pushed away, became ‘very aggressive, shouting at everyone and throwing punches’.
On arrival, Portuguese police boarded the plane and wrestled him off it.
The following month, a Jet2 flight from Edinburgh was diverted to Madeira to offload a man who was vaping on board and abusing passengers and cabin crew.
According to one witness, he was ‘walking drunkenly up and down the aisle as flight staff were unable to control him, threatening anyone who went near him.’
On an easyJet flight from Edinburgh to Antalya in Turkey the following month, it was a Celtic fan throwing punches in the aisle, apparently after another fan had called his drunken behaviour a ‘disgrace’.
Several passengers videoed the bedlam and holidaymakers can be heard reassuring traumatised children on board.
In May, a TUI flight from Glasgow – also bound for Antalya – put down in Newcastle to remove an abusive passenger who, according to a witness, had refused to surrender his own bottle of gin and was drunk even as he boarded the plane.
The witness said: ‘His partner was also removed from the plane to a chorus of boos as she gave everyone the middle finger.’
The same month, before take-off to Cancun in Mexico, TUI passengers were left sitting on the ground in Glasgow for more than two hours after a woman allegedly assaulted a man on board and had to be removed.
The litany of ugly scenes inflicted on passengers raises uncomfortable questions both for the airlines and the departure airports – questions they each have grappled with for years.
Why, when the potential for trouble is often apparent before boarding, are disruptive passengers allowed on the planes in the first place?
And what are airports and airlines doing to mitigate the effects of alcohol on passenger behaviour?
The answer to the second question may appear to be more clear- cut. For many observers, it is ‘precious little’.
At Edinburgh Airport, the airside Bridge & Castle bar opens at 3.30am, closely followed by a slew of others at 4am.
In Glasgow Airport, the bars’ opening times range from 3.15am to 5am.
Ever since 1956 – when no one went on package holidays, far less foreign stag or hen trips – UK airports have been free to determine the opening hours of airside bars, while all other pubs are subject to licensing authority control.
It means that while town and city centre bars could never serve alcohol at dawn even if they wanted to, airside watering holes routinely do – with the result that they are the first stop for many travellers as soon as they are through security.
The difference, of course, is these drinkers will not be staggering home afterwards. They will be boarding aircraft.
For Paul Waterson of the Scottish Licensed Trade Association, it is an unacceptable anomaly. He believes airside bars should be governed by licensing laws at least as strict as those applying to premises in communities.
‘Operators can’t simply say “we’ll serve alcohol as much as we can to make as much money as we can and to hell with the consequences, it’s up to the airlines to deal with them” because we can’t do that on the ground.
‘We are responsible for a certain distance after someone leaves our premises, and if a misdemeanour happens, then it goes against our licence. It should be the same with operators in the airports.’
He says the airport bars are often so vast that staff cannot keep track of everyone drinking on their premises and monitor those who are the worse for wear.
Airlines UK, which represents British airlines, has called for similar controls, previously telling the Mail: ‘It is required on the high street and so it is reasonable to ask for the same rules to apply airside’.
Jet2’s Phil Ward, meanwhile, said this week: ‘We continue to call for more rigorous licensing standards in airports.’
And yet, as Mr Waterson points out, the airlines are part of the problem, not solely the victims of it.
Once on board, passengers can take advantage of special deals on alcohol which Scottish pubs are forbidden from offering, he says.
And, although some airlines have restricted very early morning alcohol sales, most are serving it long before any high street pub would be allowed to.
It all adds up to a heady – and potentially explosive – co*cktail in which drink is placed front and centre throughout the airport and flight experience at all times of day – beginning with cut-price spirits greeting passengers in the airside shop as soon as they leave security.
And, although passengers are forbidden from opening those until they reach their destination, many do.
It may be as simple as decanting a freshly bought bottle of vodka into an empty water bottle.
The consequences for those guilty of disrupting flights can certainly be severe. There is a maximum fine of £5,000 and up to two years in prison for acts of drunkenness.
The jail term can rise to five years for those who endanger the aircraft.
On top of that, several airlines actively pursue culprits for diversion costs which, according to the CAA, can be as high as £80,000.
Liam McKeown, from Cumbernauld, was ordered to pay Jet2 more than £5,200, after drunkenly wreaking havoc on a flight to Ibiza which had to put down in Toulouse to kick him off.
And a sheriff in Paisley fined him £3,200 more.
At Manchester Crown Court, David Lauriston was jailed for two years in 2021 after becoming so violent on a flight from Glasgow to Bodrum in Turkey that he had to be locked in the toilet while the aircraft was diverted to the English city.
And yet, it seems, the drunken rages on aircraft proliferate.
So does the zero-tolerance approach do what it says on the tin? Or are airports and airlines both guilty of contributing to the problem they insist they are trying to solve?
Edinburgh Airport, certainly, boasts a sophisticated system of monitoring which kicks in as soon as passengers enter its premises.
Launching its No Excuse for Abuse campaign last month, it said airport staff, Police Scotland, airlines, handling agents and retailers were all part of an information-sharing network which would flag up, among other things, those drinking to excess.
A similar scheme, Campus Watch, was introduced at Glasgow Airport in 2013, with lifetime airport bans threatened for those behaving inappropriately.
Neither airport, however, has reviewed its bar licensing hours.
An Edinburgh Airport spokesman told the Mail: ‘We all have a personal responsibility for our behaviour and the overwhelming majority of the 55,000 passengers travelling through the airport on a daily basis are well behaved throughout the day.
‘We don’t think the vast majority of passengers should suffer due to the actions of an irresponsible few.
Where passengers are disruptive or disorderly, we have established processes in place to deal with this – and we work closely with partners, including Police Scotland to do this.’
However, the spokesman said the airport had no power to stop individuals from boarding aircraft.
He added: ‘Decisions on who can and cannot board flights are taken by airlines or the handling agents contracted to carry out the boarding process, and this sharing of information allows them to make that informed decision.’
A Glasgow Airport spokesman said: ‘Staff across the campus are encouraged to report the details of any potential incident to the airport’s central control room through a dedicated phone number.
‘This information is shared with staff across the airport campus via a rapid text alert system.’
The spokesman added: ‘The vast majority of bars and retail outlets operating in airports around the UK follow the same policies and practices as their high street counterparts.
‘This means staff receive the same training and guidance to responsibly serve and sell alcohol to passengers as they would in a licensed premises.
‘We only engage with responsible operators.
Drunken louts forced a flight from Glasgow to Alicante to divert to Bristol
They’re subject to the same strict rules and, if anything, they’re subject to even greater scrutiny at the airport.’
An Airlines UK spokesman repeats the same zero-tolerance message, saying: ‘We have worked across the industry... to reduce the incidence of disruptive behaviour and to manage its impact on passengers and crew, including lifetime bans and legal action.’
And yet, it seems, the risk of bedlam in the skies is growing.
While airlines suggest airport bar opening hours add to the problems, airports point out it is the airlines who decide who is and is not fit to board their aircraft.
Both want the issue to disappear but neither, clearly, want their alcohol income streams to go with it.
It is in that context, perhaps, that zero tolerance is best understood.
The forbearance of passengers trapped at 40,000ft in the middle of a drunken brawl is, this summer, still politely requested.