It was absolutely infuriating, maddening even. He and James had been flirting for what felt like forever, and, yes, Q had been inclined to think it was just that: a good flirt. But recently, he had been thinking there was more to it. They had grown closer and closer until Q was almost certain there were feelings on both sides. The only problem was, Bond seemed nowhere close to making a move or admitting or even saying anything.
And he knew it wasn’t because of some sort of interdiction. Office relationships were frowned upon but not technically forbidden unless you were from the same unit or close partners, which they weren't most of the time, and there were plenty of other competent people who could supervise Bond from a technical point of view when he was out in the field. And considering Bond's general social isolation, it might even be seen as a good thing. So it wasn't that.
It was especially frustrating when he also knew Bond had never had any issues making moves on people before, no matter the gender. It was almost like second nature to him after all this time. He was a known seducer and a fairly good one at that. But perhaps that was part of the problem, wasn't it? Q wasn't just another mission.
Still, Q felt at his wits ends. He had tried pretty much everything short of locking the two of them in a room to force them to have an open, honest conversation. Hell, he had actually tried that and it had cost him a door replacement.
Anytime they talked together and it looked like it was going to lead somewhere, or to anywhere in the vicinity of an admission of feelings, Bond closed off like an oyster and bolted.
Which was why Q now found himself in front of a bar after work. He knew James wasn't going to be in there, it wasn’t his crowd, but someone else would be, someone that may just be able to help him.
That someone was Israel “Izzy” Hands, one of their top mechanics, the best, even. Rough edges, but smart, very handsome, having aged like fine wine, potential substance and alcohol abuse issues, but very good at his job, emotionally constipated and, unfortunately, probably his best shot at maybe stirring something big enough within James that he would finally face his feelings.
Q took a big, deep breath. If this failed, he just didn’t know what he would do but he had to try. He pushed back his glasses to the bridge of his nose, straightened his bowtie and went in.
The bar wasn’t too crowded, a TV was playing a rerun of some soccer game on mute, music came from someone making use of the piano in one corner and there was Hands, his elbows resting on the counter, nursing what looked like a glass of whiskey.
Q made his way to him and sat on the closest bar stool. He ordered a lemonade for himself which earned him an eye roll from the bartender but he didn’t care. He was here on a mission, a private mission, but a mission nonetheless.
“Mr. Hands.”
“f*ck off.”
“Please, hear me out, then, if you’re not interested, I’ll ‘f*ck off’ as you so kindly put it.”
“Good, I’m not interested, now, f*ck off, twat.” He growled.
“I need you. And I believe we could help each other.”
Izzy groaned. “I see enough of your face at work, I don’t need to see more of it after hours.”
“You’ve been invited to his wedding, haven’t you?”
The glare Izzy sent his way was truly frightening, but Q was used to working with highly trained assassins, he was hardly impressed.
“How do you know?”
“What do you think? I keep myself informed.”
“And how does that concern you?”
“Well, you need a plus one, and I need to make Bond jealous enough for him to finally face his feelings.”
Izzy laughed.
“Yeah, so, sorry to break it to you, but this isn’t going to happen.”
“Why not?” Q was getting annoyed.
“Because I know those guys. Because I know him. He is just never going to pull his head out of his arse.”
“But you do agree that he isn’t just a gigantic flirt.”
Izzy rolled his eyes.
“Maybe.”
“Ha!” At least, it wasn’t all in his head, though sometimes it did feel like it. “I don’t care what you think, I need to try.”
“Why do you care so much? Is it just so that you can say you’ve screwed 007?”
Q choked on his lemonade.
“Who do you take me for?!” He felt offended. “What do you think? I like him. But I don’t even know why I’m telling you this, you’re the most emotionally constipated being I’ve ever met.”
“Ouch, that one hurt.” He sassed.
“Well you shouldn’t have pushed me.”
“Look, even if it wasn’t a lost cause - which it is - I don’t see how me bringing you to my ex’s wedding is going to be of use to me. You look cute, I’ll give you that, but you hardly compare.”
“Hey! I’ll have you know that I clean up nicely. Besides, I doubt you’ve found anyone willing to go with you.”
“Oh, I have, actually. I’m going with Jack.”
“Jack? As in, Calico Jack? You’re kidding, right?”
“What?” He asked, brusquely. “He is a very good lay.”
“Sure, I’ll take your word for it, but if you think Jack is going to impress anyone, you’re kidding yourself.”
Izzy groaned. “Oh, f*ck you! Yes, I’m aware, and I’ve asked all the people I could think of and they all said no. There, you happy?”
“No. I’ll be happy when you’ll say yes to me. Bring me to the wedding, at least it will be a more believable date than Jack. I mean, let’s be serious, he isn’t someone looking to be official with anyone.”
Izzy grunted. He drank the last of his whiskey before looking him up and down.
“You know half of the appeal was also to have great sex at that stupid wedding venue? Bonnet is crazy rich, he booked a thing with room and board, everyone will be staying on site. And my point is, I doubt that you’re any better in bed than Jack, or that you would even know what to do when faced with a c*nt, or that you would even be into it. So my answer is still no.”
“Uuugh. Fine, I didn’t want to get there, but the best way to get back at your ex is to show up with a believable, actual relationship on your arm. And, believe it or not, but I used to have this massive crush on you, though, believe me, I’m pretty sure it was all physical-”
“Or you just have a thing for ‘emotionally constipated men’.” Izzy interrupted, smirking.
“Hush! Do not interrupt me. So, as I was saying, one, us together would actually be believable, two, just the fact that you would have a serious - even if formerly secret - boyfriend would make your ex incredibly mad, and three, no, I wouldn’t mind having sex with you, and no, I’m not inept in bed. And if James gets angry about it, that’s his problem.”
Izzy mulled it over. He knew what he was saying had some truth to it.
“Still wouldn’t know your way around a c*nt.”
Q shrugged.
“I’ve got more experience than you think.”
“Oh yeah?”
“A gentleman never tells.”
Izzy snorted.
“Listen, if you’re serious about Bond, why don’t you try a more conservative approach first, hm? Like talking to him?”
“I've tried that. I've tried everything. I've even tried to lock us up in a room - temporarily - so that we would talk, he brought down the door in less than three minutes, despite the fact that it was public property, and then fled, and the next day he requested to be sent to a mission on the other side of the globe, and plotted to get equipment from someone else at a moment where I was stuck in an unavoidable meeting.”
“f*ck. Ok. That’s… Wait, how do you know that he plotted?”
“He bribed Gary. Gary told me. So he either hates me or… he might have real feelings for me.”
“He’s got feelings for you. Big time.” He said, without thinking. “f*ck, forget I said that.”
Q squinted at him.
“Sorry, not happening. How would you know?”
Izzy stayed silent. Q continued to stare at him.
“Fine, I overheard him when I was working on his db5. He didn’t see me. To be fair, he was having a bit of a breakdown and I didn’t want him to know someone had seen that.”
“So, if you know he has feelings, why are you trying to stop me from trying, then?”
“Because I’m trying to save you from heartache, ok? Trust me, it’s never gonna work.”
“And you would know because…?” He dragged on the last syllable.
Izzy sighed. “Because me and him we’re… we used to be the same type of guy. We would never examine our feelings unless there was a gun pointed at us, and even then, might still not happen.”
“I think it’s still worth trying. We’ve had… real moments, I mean before he turned all… emotionally unavailable on me. I need to give it one last chance. I’m too young to have regrets and he is already full of them.”
“You never give up, do you?”
“Never. I’m insufferably stubborn.”
“If I agree to this, this is a one and done thing. If it doesn't work for you, then that's just too bad because I'm not fake-staying with you until it works.”
Q sighed.
“I'm well aware, thank you very much. It stops after the wedding no matter what, you have my word. But, to make it believable we do need to start fake-dating before that, probably go on a few dates, that kind of thing.”
“You’ve thought about this, haven’t you?”
“Oh, I’ve got an entire binder.”
“Fine.” He huffed. “I’m in. Who knows, it might even piss off Edward well before the wedding. And don’t judge me, you don’t know what he did.”
“He cheated on you. The whole office probably knows, sorry. I mean, everyone talked about it because of the whole nightmare it was of Teach to go and start dating someone from one of his missions and present us all with a fait accompli.”
“Yeah, well, I also learned about it on the same day as the entire office. He told me about it and kicked me out on the day his boyfriend was moving in.”
“sh*t. I swear I didn’t know that.”
“It’s not like I tell that to people, I usually pretend I had my doubts about him cheating and just refused to give up.” He grumbled.
“It must have sucked.”
“It did.” He paused. “We don’t have to have sex, I was trying to make you give up.” He admitted.
“For the record, I wasn’t put off, but thank you for your honesty.”
“Eh, don’t mention it. So, what’s the plan?”
“We have a few public gestures, like me bringing you your lunch or something of the kind, we go on a few dates, that sort of thing. We have a few months before the wedding, it should be enough time to make it believable.”
“And the backstory? Because people are going to find it weird if we just start dating out of the blue right this minute. But I’ll take it you've thought about it too?”
“Yes, you were trying to be the better person, so you didn’t flaunt your relationship-”
“Unlike Ed.” Izzy cut him off, grunting.
“Yes, unlike Teach, but when you received the invitation to the wedding, you stopped caring about it.”
“So we’ve been together for what, months?”
“Just under five or six months. Long enough that it makes it serious, but not too long so that it stays believable.”
Izzy nodded. “Ok.”
“How much do you usually tell your friends about your life?”
“Not enough that they would be surprised by this.”
“Good. Well, good for us, but really you should think about, I don’t know, being a little more sociable.”
“Oh, f*ck off.”
Q held up his hands in the air in surrender.
“You’ll need to learn a few things about me and me about you.” Q said.
“Yeah, yeah.”
“And we will probably have to see each other’s place.” Q sighed, not exactly looking forward to it.
“Don’t f*cking look like it’s the worst thing you could imagine or I’m gonna call this off!”
“Sorry.”
“I keep a tight ship, my place is f*cking clean.”
“My reaction had nothing to do with you! I’m just not exactly looking forward to you judging my flat.”
“f*ck, sorry.” It was Izzy’s turn to apologize. “We won’t judge each other, deal?”
“Deal.”
“Ok, well, it was good talking to you and all that, but I’m gonna head home now.”
Izzy handed the bartender a couple of bills to pay for his drinks and stood up. Q caught his wrist before he could leave.
“Actually, we’re in public.” He whispered.
Izzy rolled his eyes.
“You mean this starts now?”
“Yes, I’m afraid it does.”
“Well, let’s leave together then, twat.”
Q got ready to pay for his lemonade when Izzy stopped him and handed another bill to the bartender.
“That wasn’t necessary.”
“It was. Don’t worry, you’ll pay for the next date.” Izzy honest-to-god winked.
Q swallowed and pushed his glasses back against the bridge of his nose again. Izzy smirked.
They shared a cab and each went home their separate ways after having exchanged numbers.
“Dating” Izzy proved to be less of a hassle than he had envisioned it. Sure, he had this grouchy, prickly exterior, especially in public, but Q was starting to discern a more open, soft side of him when it was just the two of them. He really hadn't expected that.
He hadn't expected Izzy to be such a good actor either, but even if Q could tell ‘playing a role’ annoyed him, he knew how to sell it. If anything, it was Q who was sometimes having bouts of nerves, like that time they had done the whole ‘you forgot your lunch at home’ thing.
Q had had to hype himself up and repeat what he was going to say about a dozen times before going through the tunnels and corridors down to the garage. While Izzy had effortlessly taken it in strides, acting flustered first, upon seeing Q down there, then a little bit grouchy and slightly embarrassed at the small display but appreciative of Q for having made the effort.
Of course, Izzy had never ‘forgotten’ his lunch and Q had only prepared two portions of what he was having since neither had seen the other's place yet, but no one had to know that.
He did receive a text later that day though, from Izzy, thanking him about the food and complimenting his cooking. It took Q by surprise and the earl grey he was drinking almost went down the wrong way.
So Q was learning Izzy was actually more of a person than he thought. He had had this vision of him being sort of a dick with a sad backstory and an intense break-up, but… maybe there was a little bit more to it.
In any case, Q couldn't fault him for not playing the game.
Their first date was a small but efficient affair. Izzy came up to fetch Q and they left the office together. They were going to a Japanese restaurant that Q had picked and which would offer them privacy for what he had planned.
Once they were seated in a smaller room with privacy screens and their order had been brought to them, Q got the flashcards out of his satchel.
“Have you got yours?”
“Yeah, just give me a second.” Izzy pulled out an equally neat stack of flashcards out of his bag. “You know, when you mentioned dates, that's not exactly what I was expecting.”
“Well, if you do well tonight, maybe the next one can be more exciting.”
Izzy grumbled. “How do you wanna go about it?”
“I propose we each read all of our questions and give the answers and then we quiz each other.”
“Alright, let's get to work then.”
Izzy started reading his, listing off answers. Q listened intently until it was his turn.
“No ‘what's my name?’ card?” Izzy asked, apropos of nothing when Q was done.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Q shot back.
“Really? You're not gonna tell me? That's something a boyfriend would know.”
“Not this boyfriend.”
“Oh come on!”
Q swatted at him.
“Now it's time to see if you've listened. Names of my cats?”
“Oreo and KitKat.” He shot back effortlessly. “Now, what's your name?”
“Maybe I'll tell you after the wedding, but only if you've been a good boy.” He deadpanned.
Strangled sounds came out of Izzy. Q smirked, proud of himself.
“f*ck you.” Izzy coughed.
“I'll think about it.” He promised. “Have you met my parents?”
“Trick question. Your mom lives too far up in Scotland, we haven’t had the time to make the trip yet, your dad died in an accident twelve years ago, and I might have met your sister if she hadn't been away for an international work project in Germany. ”
“I have to say, you're good at this.”
“Who do you take me for? They all think that because he was the spy, Ed was the smart and cunning one, but I'm not the dumb blue collar they would want me to be.” He grumbled.
Self-worth issues, Q noted. Though he had to say, having been privy to office gossip quite a lot and having worked around him, he knew Teach had entertained that story a fair amount, often playing some sort of weird pity card for having ‘settled’ with a mechanic.
“You're right. Besides, we try our best not to hire incompetent people.”
He felt Izzy suddenly closing off. He had crossed his arms over his chest and was no longer looking at Q. Q didn't understand what had set him off.
“Next question.” Izzy said brusquely.
Q decided not to push and moved on to the next question. They went at it for a while, switching roles between interviewer and interviewee until they stopped getting any of the questions wrong.
“Well, good job.” Q said after a while.
“You think it's gonna be enough to fool them?”
“I think it already is.” Q shrugged. “We're already the subject of office gossip following the lunch incident, and a sizable chunk of them believe it.”
“Too bad Ed won't be back from his mission for another few weeks at least.”
Q nodded.
“I still can't believe he is still working with us after what he did.”
Izzy sighed. “That's Ed for you. He usually gets what he wants.”
Q hesitated, biting his lip and playing with a thread on his cardigan.
“I heard another bit of gossip, actually. It was fairly faint, but there might be some truth to it.”
“Spill it.”
“Rumor goes that he is going to announce his retirement after the wedding. That this is going to be his last mission.”
Izzy sucked in a breath. His eyes went unfocused for a minute.
“Well, good for him if it's true.”
“Sorry.”
“Don't be. That's his life after all, he can do what he wants. Where is your man?”
“Mission. Should be back a couple of weeks or so before the wedding.”
“Running away from you again?”
“Remember the locked room incident?”
“How could I forget?”
“Well, it’s the same mission.”
“sh*t, that’s hard.”
“Why do you think I was so desperate?”
“True.”
There was an uncomfortable beat of silence.
“We should leave, we’ve got work tomorrow.” Q declared.
“Yeah.”
Q asked for the bill and paid. There was definitely some awkwardness as they left, even though they had had fun almost up until the end.
“Don’t forget that next week we’re leaving work together on Friday and you’ll be sleeping at my place.” He reminded Izzy when they exited the restaurant.
“Why your place?”
“Because I have cats and they need to be fed.”
“Is now a good time to tell you I’m allergic to cats?”
Q gave him a blank stare, clearly already over it.
“Oh for f*ck’s sake, I’m only kidding!”
“Good. They don’t have hair anyway.”
“You know what most people are allergic to is actually usually-”
“A protein secreted by sebaceous glands, yes.”
“Right.”
“Sorry, my cats are a sensitive subject.”
“You can stop worrying that tiny head of yours, then. I actually like cats.” Izzy grumbled.
“Really?”
“Yeah, don’t act all surprised. It’s not because I don’t have one that I hate them.”
“Of course. Well, I’ll introduce you to Oreo and KitKat. Until then… take care.”
“Yeah, take care too.”
Tension hung in the air as they parted ways in the cold night air of London.
Q decided to walk to his flat. It wasn’t that far anyway but it would do him good. He needed to clear his head.
When he finally reached his flat, he was feeling better. His cats greeted him and, after washing his hands, he scooped up Oreo who demanded attention. He fed both of them before crashing on his couch, soon followed by his two non-furred companions.
When he checked his phone, he saw he had a text from Izzy.
Izzy Hands: Sorry about earlier
It felt weird
I really actually don't hate cats
Send me pictures?
Q sighed. Izzy was really trying. Even though his incentive for this whole affair was almost inconsequential. Q really needed to be nicer. He had to learn not to always put his walls up and resort to defensiveness all the time. Besides, it wasn't like he was going to miss an opportunity to send pictures of his cats to someone.
Q: [images]
Oreo is on the left, KitKat on the right
I'm sorry for earlier too, I know you're really trying even when I'm not the most nice
IH: That's alright, we all make mistakes
I don't know why but I didn't expect them to be wearing clothes
Is it so that they won't get cold?
Q: Mostly, yes
They also both like to be dressed
Though KitKat has strong opinions on what she will or won't wear
[images]
This is what they look like when naked
IH: I gotta admit they're really cute
With or without clothes
Though perhaps Oreo is my favorite
But only because he's got that tiny bit of fur on his neck that makes him look like a tiny cat accountant with the markings around his eyes
Q chuckled.
Q: You're not wrong, I can see it
Maybe next Halloween I'll dress him as an accountant
IH: Send me pictures if you do
Q's heart was doing weird things. Things he didn't care to examine too closely.
He decided to go to bed after that.
His interactions with Izzy didn't feel strained when he went back to work the next day. The mission was still on.
Work was work. Q often found himself distracted and it annoyed him to no end. Thankfully, the weekend rolled around and he had no qualms about drowning it in earl grey and E.R. reruns, cuddled up on his couch with soft plaids and his cats.
It might have occurred to him that he may have bitten more than he could chew with his fake-dating Izzy mission, but he refused to admit to any wrongdoings.
Izzy was right. James was never going to stop avoiding him and his very own feelings. Q had no other solution.
The next Friday came much quicker than he had expected it to. He had spent his entire Thursday evening fretting about the state of his place, cleaning and getting the guest bedroom ready and planning food for the two of them. He had double checked that everything was compatible with the allergy and intolerance list Izzy had given him. The last thing they needed was a trip to the hospital, or for Izzy to get much too acquainted with his bathroom.
He had warned his cats too, of course. They disliked change to their routines but they didn't tend to dislike new people. As long as they were introduced by Q, that was.
It was Izzy who went to Q that time around. He appeared not long after five, hair tousled, oil under his nails, traces of grime on his skin and a little bit on his clothes.
“Ready to leave, love?”
Q startled.
“Yes. Just give me a minute.” He recovered.
He closed shop and slung his satchel on his shoulder. They walked shoulder to shoulder along the corridors, greeting people as they went, wishing a few colleagues a good weekend - or at least Q did. As they were nearing the elevators, Q realized he had no idea how Izzy got to work.
“Do- do you have a car or do you take the tube?”
“I've got my car down in the car park, but we can take the tube and I'll fetch her tomorrow.”
“Nonsense, we can take your car. It will be more convenient for you. And there is a secure parking area where I live.”
“Alright, follow me then.”
They walked into the elevator and Izzy pressed the button leading to the underground parking. Q looked at the numbers going by on the small elevator display.
“I'm gonna need to shower.” Izzy warned, by way of small talk. “Spent the entire afternoon stuck under 004's stupid car. Brought it back in an even worse shape than last time.”
“At least they brought it back. Can't tell you the number of times Bond simply never brought back the equipment I had given him.”
“And he is a known car destroyer as well, worse than 004.”
“He did appreciate you saving his db5.”
“Yeah. He told me. Gave me a nice bottle of scotch and chocolate, actually. You helped oversee that, no?”
“I did, yes. I knew your track record, trusted you to do a good job with it. And you did.”
The ding of the elevator door opening saved Izzy from having to answer, but the pink on his cheeks spoke plenty for him.
Q wasn't sure what he had expected Izzy's car to be, but when he saw it, he thought it made sense. It was a sensible, no-nonsense kind of car. Q lacked knowledge in cars - having never owned one and not even knowing how to drive one - but he could tell this wasn't one of those fancy cars people liked to parade around.
Izzy chuckled.
“Expected something else?”
“No. It suits you. Useful, straight to the point, I bet it runs like a charm, too.”
“That it does, very reliable. I've never been one for flashy cars, and especially not luxury cars.”
“Can I ask?”
“What?”
“Why did you become a mechanic?”
Izzy shrugged.
“I needed a job.” He stayed silent for a minute as they climbed into the car, a hand on the wheel, but making no move to start it. “I needed a way out. And I liked engines. I liked to take things apart to understand how they worked. I wasn't afraid of hard work, of getting my hands dirty. So when I found a place at a shop, I took it. I really enjoy it, this work. My first boss was awful. But I didn't want to give up on the job, so I stayed. Until I had enough saved up to f*ck off and find somewhere better that is. Eventually made my way here when Ed got hired and he got me a place as well.”
Q was holding his breath. He wasn't sure Izzy had ever said so many words to him in one go, and talked about his life on top of it. He was afraid to say the wrong thing or to scare him into sullen silence again, so he held off on saying anything at all.
“You know, it took me a long time to really believe I was good at my job, and that I hadn't been hired just because my partner was a brilliant recruit.”
Q dared to place a hand over Izzy's.
“I mean it when I say nice things about your work, and your skills.”
Izzy chuckled.
“I know. I… looked at my feelings after that study session at the restaurant. I'm sorry I got so defensive and snappy. It just… I thought you were being sarcastic and I took it wrong. I saw intentions where there weren't any.”
“That's alright. We all have our things. I appreciate your honesty.” He felt he owed Izzy some honesty as well. “Take me, for example, I get really defensive when it comes to my cats. When I got them, they were tiny little helpless kittens. And I was so happy. I had always wanted cats, so when I moved to London, on my own, to start this job, my sister got them for me. She knew I would need something to take my mind off of the millions of things I would worry about and so she got me Oreo and KitKat. She is actually the one who named them. I immediately loved them and shared pictures with my friends and family and… I immediately got flooded by stupid remarks. ‘Haha, they look like bald rats’ or ‘they look like raw chickens’ or ‘why did you pick such ugly kittens, why didn't you get normal ones instead?’.
“Hurtful remarks.” Izzy murmured.
“Yes. It hurt. Maybe if it had come at a different time in my life I would have coped better. But it didn't, and I didn't.”
“I do like your cats. I wasn't pretending. I like that they're different. And that they like to wear clothes.” He chuckled. “I won't lie, the biggest appeal to having to spend my Friday night at your place was to meet your cats. I hope they won't be scared of me, that would be the biggest disappointment of my week.”
“Don't worry.” Q smiled. “I've got new introductions down to a science. They should at the very least tolerate you.”
“Good.” Izzy smiled in return, a small, shy kind of smile. “Shall we go then?”
Q nodded and buckled up his safety belt. Izzy turned the key into the ignition and off they went.
Q learned Izzy was a careful driver. It wasn't to displease him. Q had always been anxious about driving and was almost relieved when he moved to London and realized he would be fine with the tube and buses and would never have to drive through London. But he felt safe with Izzy behind the wheel, though Izzy did mouth off other drivers under his breath, mostly cursing them when they didn't use their turn signals.
“I swear they all think we're psychics.” Izzy muttered as he finally turned into Q's lane.
Q gave him directions to the entrance of the car park and, with some nervousness, he led him to his flat.
“I'll introduce you to the cats, but remove your shoes and wash your hands first, please.” Q said as he opened his door.
Izzy did as told, leaving his bag in the entrance and looking around him.
“It's nice.” He commented.
“Glad you like it. Took me a couple of years to really make it feel like home.”
“Listen Q…” Izzy shifted nervously behind him.
“Hm?”
“I know we said we should see each other's place but…”
“Are you really trying to leave now? You haven't even met the cats.”
“No, it's… My place is really not as nice as yours.”
“That's fine. I don't mind.”
“I still live surrounded by cardboard boxes. I- When my husband - ex-husband - practically kicked me out, I just tried to move out as fast as I could. I took the first sh*tty studio apartment I found and I haven't really unpacked since then.”
“sh*t. I'm sorry. I had no idea.”
“You couldn't have known. That's why I'm telling you now.”
“I don't have to come to your place.” Q offered. And he was the one who had been afraid of being judged… Yes, maybe his place wasn't the reflection of masculinity at its highest even if only because he had spent time carefully thinking about interior decorating and because there were things he appreciated that weren’t traditionally masculine - which he had assumed, probably wrongly so now that he had come to know him better, that it would put Izzy off - but at least it was his and it felt safe, comfortable.
“I would prefer it if you didn't. If anyone asks we can just tell them I always come to yours because of your cats.”
“Yes, we can do that.”
“Thank you. I can send you pictures if you don't believe me.”
“No, I don't think you're lying.”
“It really sucked the whole affair, and then the divorce and… well, I'm getting over it, but I have yet to do a few things, like properly unpacking or moving somewhere more suitable now that the dust is settling.” He tried to explain. “Sorry, I should stop speaking about my ex so often.”
“I did invite myself to your ex’s wedding, to your defense.”
Izzy laughed.
“Yeah, I guess that's true.”
“Come on, wash your hands, I'll give you treats for the cats. I can see them at the top of the stairs, waiting for me to do the introductions.”
“Oh?” Izzy turned around. “Aw. Hi there.” He cooed.
Q enticed them to come downstairs to say hello. Izzy stayed a few steps behind, treats in hand.
“Sit on the couch.” He instructed Izzy as he picked Oreo up. “He is the shyest of the two and a real papa's boy.” He explained. “KitKat is more independent, she will come at her own pace, the trick is to ignore her until she comes to you.”
They both settled on the couch. Q gently placed Oreo on his lap.
“Let him sniff your hand, palm turned face down, and then you can give him a treat.”
Izzy followed the instructions and soon melted adorably at the sight of Oreo licking his fingers.
“I think you can pet him if you want.”
“He is so f*cking cute. I love his bow tie, gives him a smart look. Do you have matching bow ties?”
Taken by surprise, Q blushed furiously.
“Maybe.”
“Aw.”
“Don't make fun!”
“I'm not! Promise! It's very cute though.”
Q stuck his tongue out. Izzy laughed even harder than before. Oreo startled a little and Izzy apologized profusely, scratching his neck.
While they weren't paying attention to her, KitKat had sneaked onto the couch, and she now swatted at Izzy, claws carefully retracted inside her paw.
“She wants her treat now. She knows new people means treat.” Q translated.
“Oh. Sorry. Here you go, girl.”
Satisfied, KitKat stretched after eating her treat and settled on the armrest of the couch.
After the introductions were done, Q showed Izzy to the bathroom so that he could shower and started on dinner.
Dinner was pleasant. They chatted, about work and other things. Q recalled anecdotes from his childhood with his sister. Izzy told him about places he had been to - he enjoyed hiking.
They settled on the couch in front of a movie as the evening went on. Oreo was fully spread out on Q's lap, as happy as ever, and KitKat had weirdly adopted Izzy, sticking close to him. It made Q smile to see it.
When the time came to go to bed, Q showed Izzy to the guest bedroom.
“You know we're going to have to share a bed at the wedding? It's an all weekend thing, I've mentioned that, right?” Izzy asked, just to be sure. “Because if that's going to be a problem I would rather know now.”
“I know.” Q groaned. “You better not snore or hoard the blankets.”
“I snore very softly, apparently. It's like a cat with a cold. Or so I was told.” He mumbled. “And Ed was the blanket hoarder of our relationship.”
Q chastised his brain for having conjured an image of Izzy as a cute kitten and pulled himself together.
“I guess it won't be too different from sleeping with Oreo then.”
Izzy laughed, a genuine laugh. It occurred to Q that it was nice seeing him open like that.
f*ck it, he thought. What was the harm in sharing a bed with someone else for a night? It wasn't like he was seeing anyone, not yet at least. And it didn't mean anything. They weren't dating, only pretending.
“Fine, you can sleep with me, for the sake of our pretense. But the cats will come in too, I'm not kicking them out.”
“That's fine.”
Q closed the door of the guestroom.
They changed into pajamas, brushed their teeth, went to the bathroom, Q fed the cats the last of their portion and they settled into bed. It felt all too weirdly familiar, almost natural.
“Goodnight.” Q whispered as he turned off the light.
“G’night.” Izzy answered him.
They heard tippy taps not long after and were soon joined by the cats, purring softly into the night, nestled against them.
Q smiled as he spotted KitKat sprawling over Izzy in the faint moon glow.
Morning found them entangled together. Izzy was still out, much to Q's relief who carefully extricated himself. KitKat chirped when she noticed he was awake but made no sign to move. He guessed Izzy felt nicely warm, unlike Q who usually ran cold.
“Fine, traitor.” Q whispered.
He got out of bed and was followed by the ever loyal Oreo who happily trotted behind him.
He started on coffee, tea and breakfast. Soon enough, a still sleepy Izzy emerged, attracted by the smell of coffee.
“Sleep well?”
“Yeah, thanks. You?” He poured himself a mug. His hair were all over the place.
“Hm-hm, dandy.”
“So I take it I didn't snore too loudly.”
“Oreo snored louder than you.”
Izzy choked on his coffee.
“I’m relieved. What's next in the dating binder then?” He asked over his cup, finally waking up after having had a few sips.
“Yours, actually.”
“Mine?” He squinted at him. It wrinkled his nose and the corner of his eyes… and Q should definitely stop focusing on such things.
“Yes. I thought you should pick something. It's what would make sense.”
“Oh, interesting.” There was a faint smile on his face. “I'll think of something.”
“Please warn me at least two days in advance.”
“Yeah, I will. You're not allergic to nature, are you?”
“No?”
He was starting to think this might have been a bad idea to give Izzy free reign, perhaps he could backpedal a little-
“No take-backs! I can see the little cogs turning in your head.”
Q held up his hand in surrender.
“Alright. As long as you're aware that I have the constitution of an average asthmatic Londoner.”
“Didn’t you grow up in the middle of nowhere in Scotland?”
“Yes, and I was definitely not suited for that environment.”
Izzy snorted.
“I'll keep that in mind. And where are we at in terms of office gossip?” Izzy checked.
“Good. People are buying it. They really think we've been dating for something close to six months. We're even becoming some sort of favorite amongst the official office couples.” They're happy for us was on the tip of his tongue but he stopped himself just shy of saying it. It seemed cruel. If Q would indeed find himself with a real boyfriend at the end of this if all went well… Izzy wouldn't. And Q had the decency to feel bad about it.
He also deliberately didn't examine how the fact that many people had also expressed sympathy at Q finally finding someone that wasn't stringing him along - unlike 007 - made him feel, nor did he say it out loud.
They parted mid-morning, each having “things to do”, an outright lie on Q's part but he couldn't entertain the idea of Izzy staying longer, despite the fact that Q had essentially nothing better to do than lounging in his bathrobe with his cats and perhaps going on a grocery run. At least, now that Izzy was gone, KitKat seemed to remember he existed.
It took Izzy almost two weeks to get back to him. When he did, he found a note sitting on his desk after coming back from his lunch break.
“You just missed your boyfriend by a few minutes.” Gary informed him, smiling.
Boyfriend that never stopped being weird to hear.
“Oh? Do you know what he wanted?”
“Told me he had something planned for you, left a note on your desk.”
“Ah, yes.” Q pretended to only notice the note just then. He unfolded it and read it.
Royal Botanic Gardens of Kew. Next Saturday. Picking you up at 10 am, be ready.
Well, that didn't seem too bad. He had actually never been despite it being not that far from London. He texted Izzy to confirm it with him.
“So, where is he taking you?” Gary startled him.
“Oh, hm, the Royal Botanic Gardens of Kew.”
“That's nice! Have you ever been?”
“No, not really, but I'm looking forward to it.”
“Well, I hope you'll have a good time. My wife took me there a few times, and we always enjoyed ourselves, lots of things to see, very nice views.”
“I’m sure we'll have a great time, thank you.”
“You know… And I'm sorry if that's not my place, but…” Gary started. “I know you really hoped that 007 would get it together and I'm sorry it didn't pan out, but I'm really happy for you. Hands seems like a nice fella.”
Q forced himself to smile.
“He is.” He agreed. And that was true, wasn't it? He was genuinely nice. Q had taken him for a hardened, no-nonsense, not very romantic kind of man - which he was in some respect - but he was also kind, with a soft side underneath all the bristles, and he deserved to find love too.
Q knew Izzy was in on the plan, he knew he wanted to show his ex he hadn't deserved what he had put him through, that he was worth more than what he thought, and that he could be happy too, but Q also had this bad feeling, this feeling that he was doing something reprehensible, that he was playing with someone that didn't deserve to be played with.
Except he couldn't deal with all that now, so he snatched the note and quickly made it disappear into a drawer of his desk, slamming it back shut with more force than was necessary. Gary gave him a quizzical look but Q opted to ignore it and went back to his work.
The loud clunk of the drawer resonated in his ears longer than it ought to have.
Maybe Q had been ready since 9 am. Maybe he had spent the entire previous evening deciding what to wear and what to pack. He had looked at the website and the weather which was supposed to be fair, but he still packed a rain jacket to be safe, and he decided to wear his waterproof boots. There was nothing more annoying than spending the day sloshing around in wet shoes. He decided against packing food, apparently there were places where they could grab a bite within the gardens.
And now that it was nearing 10 am he was nervously pacing between his kitchen and his living room.
“Oh stop it, Kit. I don't have the heebie-jeebies. We're just going to see flowers and trees, I've got no reason to be nervous.”
KitKat slowly blinked at him, unimpressed.
“I don't even know why I'm talking to you when you've obviously gotten enamored with him.”
The sudden ding-dong from his doorbell startled him. KitKat chirped as if she knew who was coming.
Q let Izzy in. KitKat immediately brushed herself against his ankles.
“Oh, hi there you pretty girl.” Izzy cooed and bent over to scratch her behind the ears. “Hi, are you ready to go?” He asked Q as he straightened back up, his knees creaking.
“Yes, I, hm, just need to grab my bag and we can go.”
It was entirely unfair how cute and handsome Izzy could be. But it wasn’t Q's fault if he had a thing for men who were soft to his cats.
The drive wasn't too long despite traffic being somewhat of a nightmare as per usual. Izzy had put on some music on the radio, classical. Q didn't mind.
They soon parked near the gardens and walked to the gates. Izzy paid for their tickets.
“I thought about bringing you on a hike at first, but even if I know a few very easy ones, I had the feeling you might enjoy this place more.” He explained as they stepped beyond the entrance kiosks.
“That's likely. I looked it up online and it seemed interesting. Have you come here often?”
“Yeah, I come often enough. It's a little expensive, but I like to go there sometimes, pack food, spend the day, unwind. It's so big you can just wander around as much as you want or just pick a different spot every time, or the same. The only downside is the air traffic because of Heathrow, but it still beats the non-stop sound of car traffic in London.”
Q nodded.
“So you know the place well by now. Do you know about plants?”
“Some. I bought a few books from their gift shop and read my way through them.”
They were walking on the large alleys. Q was looking at the signs and at the scenery. He could see an array of sculptures, plenty of beautiful and odd looking trees and other plants and flowers.
“So, what do you fancy seeing?” Izzy asked after a few beats of silence.
“I don't know, I guess we can have a look around the grounds. I saw they had nenuphars, I've always fancied seeing those.”
“Yeah, it's one of the buildings, we can stop there.”
Izzy led Q through some strategic alleys, giving him a feel for the place and showing him sculptures he liked and other favorites before it neared noon and they decided to have a quick bite and a cup of tea to warm up before wandering back outside again. It wasn’t cold per se, but it was still a little chilly, such were the contingencies of spring weather.
They were strolling by the pond when it happened. Q was focused on the surface of the water, looking for fish and he heard a loud honk, startling him. He looked up and saw a goose staring straight at him, or so it seemed.
“Oh no. Oh no.” He didn’t like it, not one bit.
Izzy turned, alarmed, and saw the situation.
“Don't move, she isn’t interested in you, just minding her own business. Ignore her and she's likely to just go away.” He whispered, trying to be reassuring.
“Likely?!” Q was panicking, he had always hated geese.
“She'll wander away soon, just stay put.”
“I can't do that, Izzy! I was bit when I was a boy, I know how much it hurts!” He made the mistake of flailing his arm around which immediately made the goose feel threatened.
She opened her wings, honking even louder and Q didn't think, he started running.
“Aaaah. f*ck. f*ck. What did I doooo? Leave me aloooone.” He screamed as he ran off, his breathing getting labored by the minute.
Izzy lost no time. He ran interference with the geese, holding his arms out to make himself appear as the bigger goose in the room while yelling and hissing. It wasn’t his first time fending off geese. At last, he drove them away before catching Q and leading him to the safety of a nearby building.
“I need-” His breaths were coming in shallow and short. He mimed using his inhaler. “Bag.” He pointed.
Izzy rummaged in the front pocket of Q's bag until he found his ventolin, uncapped it and handed it to him.
Q brought it to his mouth and pressed on it a couple of times.
“I really didn't think that place would give you an asthma attack. I'm sorry.” He had a soothing hand on his back.
“It's the panicking and the running, bad combo, and not your fault.” Q explained once he was finally breathing close to normally again.
“Feeling better?”
“Yes.” He nodded. “And look.”
They were in the lily pads room.
“We found the water lilies.” Izzy smiled.
There were several ponds with different species of water lilies. Light reflected through the glass of the greenhouse and highlighted the green, yellow, pink and white hues of the flowers and their round pads gently floating on the surface of the water. Benches made in wrought iron with intricate patterns were scattered around the room to allow visitors to sit and enjoy the atmosphere of this extraordinary place.
“Can we stay here a bit? They're beautiful.” Q asked, mesmerized by the spectacle in front of him, his goose fright already forgotten.
“Yeah, of course.”
He helped Q up. They sat together on a bench, shoulder to shoulder. Izzy was telling Q what he knew about nenuphars. It was nice, quiet. Q could see why Izzy liked to come here to unwind.
They didn't move for the rest of the afternoon. Izzy got a book out, Q did the same thing. They read together in the peaceful light of the water lilies greenhouse, occasionally looking up to appreciate the beautiful sight in front of them, and sharing cereal bars Izzy had packed.
They continued seeing each other every so often, sometimes spending their lunch break together, Izzy came around to Q’s for dinner a few times - furthering his affair with KitKat - until it felt entirely natural to spend time together, almost second nature.
Then came the news, Bond was coming back, almost two weeks early. Teach was to follow a few days later. Q should have felt happy, but he felt anxious instead, anxious and… something else. He knew it was supposed to be a good thing, to move things along to the next part of the plan but there was something holding him back.
So instead of seeking Bond, he avoided him. He arranged for someone else to take care of the equipment Bond should be returning and he made sure their schedule didn't overlap.
Alone in his flat a few days later, with a confused Oreo hiding out with him under his covers, he wondered if he wasn’t just a coward. Maybe this was just nerves and nothing else. Yes, this was just anxiety over everything coming together a little sooner than planned. But that was alright, he could tweak the binder and everything could still work out.
He decided to text Izzy to ask him to meet him at their usual spot and usual time at work.
He didn't answer. Q groaned. He didn't need Izzy to get cold feet as well. They had worked so hard for it, they were going to see it through. Besides, Edward Teach was finally back as well, everything was falling into place.
Q waited at their spot the next day during his lunch break. It was a secluded area where they usually managed to be left in peace.
He felt jumpy. He hoped Izzy would come. When ten minutes had gone on the clock, he got his bento out and started eating. Maybe he was being held back at the shop.
It was nearing the end of his break when he heard echoing footsteps approaching. It was Izzy. But he didn't look like his usual self.
If Q didn't know any better, he would have said he looked like someone who had barely slept, and perhaps even like someone who had recently cried. Q pushed back down the feelings that seeing Izzy in such a state sparked in him. He didn’t need to go soft now.
“There you are. I was worried you wouldn't come. You didn't answer my texts.”
Izzy wouldn't look at him. Time seemed to freeze. Q knew something wasn't right before Izzy spoke.
“I can't do it, I'm sorry.” Izzy whispered, looking down at his feet.
“Are you bailing on me? Are you really bailing on me now?” Older feelings he had also tried suppressing were bubbling back up.
“I'm sorry.”
Q was at a loss for words. The betrayal stung more than it should have. He had expected it to fail to begin with, so why did it hurt so much?
“Can you at least tell me why?”
A pained expression crossed Izzy's face. When it started to look like he wasn't going to say anything more, Q began to turn on his heels, his lunch break was over anyway.
“Because I've got feelings for you.” Izzy's raspy voice croaked behind him.
Q stopped. f*ck.
“Bond just came back in. If we break up now you can still salvage it.” He paused. “It's time to be brave. Stop waiting for a conversation that's never going to happen. You should tell him you love him. If you tell him the truth as it is… raw and unadulterated, then that might be the catalyst you've been looking for. Your winning ticket.”
Izzy scurried off before Q could say anything back. Q swore he had heard the beginning of a sniffle.
“f*ck!”
Why was he hurting so badly? He didn't understand.
His legs wobbled underneath him and he reached for the wall. He could only slide down until he sat against the wall, his legs folded in front of him. He held his head in his hands.
The truth was, he knew. He had felt it. He had refused to see it, yes, and he had refused to admit it to himself, but he knew.
He didn't know how long he stayed there. It didn't matter. No one was going to ask him where he had been anyway. He could just invent a handwavey excuse if anyone did.
When he felt calm enough again, he got back up and went back to work.
He felt very cold, like something had died within him. He didn't like it.
He wondered if he hadn't f*cked everything up from the beginning.
Over the next few days, he went through the motions of life as if in a dream he was viewing from somewhere off-screen.
He kept avoiding Bond, and Izzy, and everyone really.
He spent his evenings alone in his dark flat, all lights out, watching stupid TV and eating ice cream out of the tub under an indecent amount of blankets with his two cats. Oreo was still a love bug, as always, his little velcro-kitty, but even KitKat seemed to have sensed something was wrong and she was cuddlier than usual.
It was hard, not being able to reach out. He constantly found himself wanting to text Izzy, to send him a cute picture of KitKat or Oreo, to tease him affectionately, to exchange some witticism or just share something with him… but he couldn't, not anymore. It hurt. And it hurt even more to think he had hurt Izzy. It was f*cked up and he didn't deserve it, especially not after the mess he had been put through with his ex-husband.
And it was Q's fault. He should never have approached him. He knew this whole thing hadn't been right, and yet he couldn't bring himself to regret it. Because he loved Izzy too. Because he had fallen for him sometime along those dates and moments shared together. Because he had made him happy. Because he genuinely cared for him.
The night he had the full realization, the night he finally, completely admitted it to himself, he sobbed into the blankets until exhaustion claimed him.
He took to wistfully sitting on top of the roof by himself during his lunch breaks. No one ever came up there and it allowed him to catch his breath.
He looked at London and the life spilling out of her feeling lonelier than ever. Sometimes he indulged in hugging his knees, pretending it was to keep the chill of the cold air at bay when really he was seeking comfort.
It was one of those days when he heard the metal door creak behind him. For half a second he thought it was going to be Izzy, but the voice that spoke up definitely belonged to Bond.
“I've been looking for you.”
Q laughed dryly.
“You’ve been looking for me? That's a new one.”
James sat down beside him. Q didn't move, didn't even look at him. He couldn't. It was beyond his ability.
“I know. I'm usually the one avoiding you, but then you started avoiding me and… well, I understood how it felt.”
“Not great?”
“Not great.”
They stood there in silence not knowing where to start.
“I heard you have a boyfriend.”
“Had.” Q corrected. “Or not at all, even.”
“Not at all? I thought…”
“It's complicated.” f*ck. f*ck. f*ck. Why had it gotten so complicated?
“Try me.” His voice was soft, it wasn't a challenge.
Q sucked in a breath.
“I think I overthought things.” He let out. “I was tired of you fleeing from me so I devised this great big plan and I approached Izzy. We struck a deal. And I think we both got more than we bargained for and now it's all f*cked.”
“You devised a plan? And what do you mean it's all f*cked?”
Q got up and shrugged, kicking at nothing.
“Izzy and I… we got feelings for each other. But it wasn't planned. And he left me. Because I had feelings for someone else.”
“But you’ve still got feelings for him?”
“Yes.” Q didn't know who he was talking about when he answered. Because he still had feelings for the both of them.
“So get him back. If you were happy with him you should get him back. And screw that other guy. He should have seized his chance when he had it. He shouldn't be preventing you from getting your chance at happiness.” He grasped his own hands tightly, looking away from Q. “You should go to Izzy and tell him you love him and get him back.”
“But I can't!” Q screamed despite himself. “I can't because I love you both and it wasn't planned and it hurts so much.” His voice broke down.
“You love us both? You mean you… you still… love me?” He finally let out. “Despite the fact I ran away almost halfway across the globe just to avoid my feelings for you?”
Q looked at him with his broken heart painted all over his face.
“Not almost. I don't think you could have gotten further away if you had tried.” He murmured. “But yes, I got with him hoping it could allow me to finally get with you. And I know it's stupid, you don't need to tell me. But I couldn't get you to talk to me, you always… ran away, and he needed someone to go with him to his stupid ex’s wedding and…” Q's voice broke again. “And here we are. Everything is a mess and no one is happy.”
James took a deep breath in, steadying himself.
“Maybe we should talk.”
“My lunch break has been over for at least twenty minutes.”
“f*ck work.” He grumbled. “We need to talk, Q. I know that now. I'm sorry I couldn't see it before. But please, let us talk?”
Q sighed.
“Fine. But if anyone asks, I was busy chewing you out for destroying equipment again.”
“How- how did you know? You didn't handle my equipment, not this time.”
“Gary.”
“Ah. Of course. I should have known he would snitch on me.”
Q sat back down, just barely out of reach of Bond.
“It was more than just flirting or friendship, right?” He needed to hear it.
“Yes.” James sighed. “That's what scared me. I was convinced I was going to ruin it.”
“What changed?”
“I was the furthest away I could and you were still the only one I could really think about.” James admitted. “And then I came back and I learned you had someone and I regretted not having even tried.”
“Maybe I should have been braver and made the first step.”
“I think we've had enough ‘maybes’.”
Bond moved closer to Q. Q didn’t close the distance but he didn’t move away either.
“I can't say yes to you. I want to, it's all I ever wanted to do, but…” Q trailed off.
“Now you love him too.”
Q nodded pitifully.
“I think,” James started, “that sharing you doesn't sound like something I would be opposed to, not if it's someone that also makes you happy.”
“You say that now but then you will change your mind and I don't want to hurt him more than I already have.”
“I wouldn't be so sure about that if I were you.”
“That you're going to change your mind eventually?”
Bond acquiesced.
“Yes. For starters, with the work I do, I never expected to find someone with whom I could see it working in the long term. Sure I've had flings, flirts, friends with benefits… but I've never had anyone serious. So I always thought I would have a few flings on missions, but that would be it. Then I would go home where nothing was really waiting for me.
“Except you can tell yourself that, but it's harder to suppress the wanting.” James wasn't looking at Q. He knew if he did he would stop talking. He wasn't used to letting himself be vulnerable. “There were moments when I would imagine how it could look like, if I had someone.
“You have the usual fantasy, running away with someone, leaving everything behind and never coming back. But you have other things too. Things that were scarier because they felt more tangible.
“See, I don't want to have someone waiting for me. I don't want them to be as lonely as I've been. So sometimes I imagined what it would feel like to join a couple. If they were willing to have me to begin with.” He confessed.
“What happens when you retire and you'll no longer be gone half the time?”
It took Bond a long time to answer. They both knew Q wasn't really talking about hypothetical fantasies anymore.
“By then I would have hoped the other person would have come to like me enough that they wouldn't mind my presence. I'm not sure I'm allowed to hope that they would love me too, but maybe it doesn't have to be impossible.”
They were silent for a long moment, each deep in thoughts.
“He would have the final say, I can't speak for him.” Q eventually said.
“Of course. I mean, we all know what happened with Teach. I won't go behind his back. If we do this, we do it right or not at all.”
“Agreed. Which means I need to talk to him, and I should probably tell you what happened when you were gone.”
“It's fine by me if there are things you would rather keep for yourself.”
“I appreciate the sentiment but I don't want to build this on secrets and machinations. For this to work we're really going to have to work hard on our communication skills.”
“Yes, ok, I'm listening then.”
Q took a deep breath and stopped overthinking it. He told him everything, from that first conversation in that bar which felt like a lifetime ago to Izzy ‘breaking up' with him and everything in between.
“And KitKat loves him too.” He said at last, as if that had been the biggest blow.
“KitKat?”
“Yes, she betrayed me and became entirely enthralled with him for some unknown reason.” He grumbled.
Bond chuckled. Q swatted at him.
“It's not funny! I think she cuddles me only because she hopes that I'll bring him back if I get fixed.”
“I think I can agree with her. I mean, Izzy, very eligible bachelor. But I think you know that.” He teased.
Q lightly shoved him. Bond chuckled.
“Who knew that office crush would be the first one to be realized.”
“To be fair, most people really weren't betting on us ever becoming a thing.”
“Bond, indulging in office gossip!” Q said with mock surprise.
“I'm a spy! I like to keep myself informed on important matters.”
Q chuckled.
“I'm glad to know we're important matters.”
James blushed. “We should probably get back to work.”
“Probably, yes. And I still need to officially chew you out for damaging equipment.”
“Can't we skip that part? I promise I did my best.”
Q rolled his eyes.
“Fine, I'll just write a strongly worded note.” He said as he got up.
“You know what? I've changed my mind. I think I prefer it when you chew me out. Less paperwork.” Bond answered, following a laughing Q to the door and back to the offices.
That night, when Q went home, he felt somewhat lighter. He still needed to fix it with Izzy, to make it right, but he no longer felt desperate. He knew it wasn’t a done thing. He knew they would have to talk and all agree on it. But it wasn’t impossible.
What he didn’t know was what he would do if Izzy refused, which was his right. Because he loved them both in equal measure and he thought he might choose no one if he were to be made to pick one.
He looked at KitKat who was slowly blinking at him.
“Sometimes it's like you can read my thoughts.” He muttered. She yawned.
He decided to text Izzy. He had to start somewhere.
Q: I talked with Bond
Izzy: Good for you.
He bit his lips. He hadn't expected him to answer so fast and hadn't had the time to say anything else. He sighed. Texting was not going to be the answer this time.
Q: Can we talk?
I mean, can I call you?
He sat on read for a long time. Long enough that he went to fetch Oreo for reinforcements and sat next to KitKat. His phone started to vibrate when he had been slowly but surely giving up on getting an answer. It was Izzy calling him. He hit the green button and picked up.
“Izzy?”
“Who the f*ck else do you want it to be?”
“No one.” And that was true.
“It was a bad idea. Sorry. I'm going to hang up.”
“Please don't!”
He heard a ‘humpf’ but the call didn’t disconnect.
“You remember that you told me to be brave? To stop waiting for a conversation that's never going to happen? Well, I didn't follow your advice, not with Bond, he is the one who found me. But I'm following it now. Because I love you.” Q let out in one breath.
There was a sniffle on the other side of the line.
“You can't tell me that!”
“Why? Why can't I when it's true?”
“Because it's not fair. Because you can't say that to me when I know you can never be with me.”
“And why not?”
“Because you've chosen Bond.”
“Says who?” Q huffed.
“No one needs to say anything, it's obvious. You loved him before me, and why would you choose me when you can have 007?”
“You know that's never been the reason I was interested in him. And you need to stop selling yourself short! You're great Izzy. I loved the time we spent together. You're kind, you want to pretend you don't care but you do, you love my cats, you're smart, and funny, and I don't know why we're fighting.” He paused. “KitKat misses you. I miss you. I want to be with you. Bond is ok with it.”
“I- What are you saying?”
“I'm saying what if you could be with me, what if it didn't have to be you or him? Because I'm never picking only one of you just to leave the other one behind. I would rather stay alone than go on knowing I'll have left one of you sad and brokenhearted so that I could maybe be happy when really I would never be able to forget about it.”
“That's fine, you don't have to worry about me, I've already made my peace with it.”
“You really have?”
Izzy sighed. “Of course not. f*ck. But what else am I supposed to do?”
“Just, hear us out, ok? That's all I ask. And then you can decide whatever you want to do.”
“What if I've decided already? What if I've decided I would never be anyone's mistress?”
“That's really not what this is.”
“Oh yeah? So what, we won't be skulking around behind closed doors? Avoiding being seen together? Or let me guess, I can be with you, but not when he's here?”
“No. You can be with me without any restrictions. And we won't hide.”
“So Bond is the mistress.”
Q sighed.
“No. No one is! There is no mistress. No one is cheating on anyone. This is not a remake of your marriage.”
Silence met his declaration.
“sh*t. I'm sorry, Izzy. That's not-”
“No, that's what you meant. That's alright.” He paused. “That's where my mind was anyway.” He admitted.
“You know what James told me? When we were talking about it?”
“No?” Izzy's voice sounded so small, it hurt Q.
“That he wouldn't go behind your back. That if we were doing this, we would do it right or not at all. And I told him you would have the final say.”
There was more silence. Q wished he could see Izzy, hug him.
“I need to think about it.” He said at last.
“I understand. Can we talk together? The three of us, I mean, before you take your final decision?”
“I… Fine. I'm gonna go now.”
“I- I have a very weird request before we hang up.”
He heard shuffling.
“What is it?”
“Could I put you on speaker so that you can talk to KitKat? She’s really been missing you.”
“I thought you were joking when you said that.”
“I really wasn't.”
“Alright, put her on speaker.”
Q did.
“You're on.”
Izzy sighed.
“I can't believe it. Come on Kit, don't be sad, you're still the only girl in my heart.”
KitKat's ears immediately perked up and she trotted to his phone, rubbing her chin on it, purring loudly.
Q rolled his eyes and grumbled.
“I don't know what you've done to that cat but I swear she's really infatuated with you.”
Izzy laughed wetly.
“It's not my fault she has good tastes.”
“You should see her, she is rubbing her face all over my phone.”
“I can hear it. I miss you too, girl.” Izzy cooed. “Give her a treat for me, ok?”
“I will, I promise.”
“Goodnight, Q.”
“Goodnight, Izzy. Thank you for talking with me.”
“I haven't said yes.” He reminded him.
“I know. But at least it's out. And you listened.”
“Yeah, I guess. I'll reach out when I'm ready.”
“Ok, we will give you the time you need.”
“Thanks.”
They hung up. Q flopped onto his couch. It had honestly gone better than what he had expected. All hopes weren't lost. He was glad to have admitted his feelings to Izzy. Even if it didn't pan out, he wouldn't have to regret staying silent.
He gave a treat to KitKat - and Oreo so that he wouldn't be jealous - before going to bed.
He told Bond about his discussion with Izzy the next day. They both expected to have to wait a while before he felt ready to talk with them, which was normal. It wasn't a light decision to take and it was a lot to digest, especially when you factored in his previous relationship. Q couldn't imagine how awful it must have been to go through such a thing. Bond and him both agreed they wouldn't push him and they would wait for him to come to them.
So they were both surprised when Izzy asked to speak to them less than two days later. Q couldn't tell if it was a good or bad thing, and neither could Bond.
“You're sure you're ready for it?” Q checked in.
Izzy nodded. “I need to. I can't sleep, it's messing with my work and I can't stand the silence.”
“Let's do it then.” Bond agreed.
“Should we meet somewhere neutral? Maybe that Japanese restaurant we first went to?” Q asked. “It's ideal if we want some privacy.”
“Alright. After work today?”
They all nodded seriously. They were really going to do it.
Q managed to get very little done for the rest of the day. He suspected Bond was in a similar state as he saw he had decided to spend his afternoon on ‘physical preparation’.
They all left at 5 pm, right on the clock. If anyone found it weird, no one said anything. They were going to each swing by their home before reconvening at the restaurant. Q had placed a reservation.
It was almost comical how anxious they all were as they got seated, waiting for their order to arrive before they would start talking.
Finally, a waiter came with the food and drinks they had ordered.
“I won't be anybody’s mistress.” Izzy warned as a way of introducing the matter. “And I won't be a stand-in.”
“That's really not what it would be.” Q assured.
“You're ok with that?” Izzy asked Bond.
James shrugged. “I want Q to be happy. I want to give myself my own shot at happiness for once. If Q tells me I can trust you, then I believe him. Besides, I already know that I can.”
“What do you mean?”
“I know you were there when I lost it.” Bond was referring to his slight ‘meltdown’ he had had in his still wrecked db5 when it had been parked in the shop for repairs. The one about his previous non-situation with Q some time before leaving on a long mission halfway across the globe. “I did the math with your schedule and the repairs on my Aston Martin.”
“Hm.”
“You kept it for yourself, and I appreciate that.”
“You should know I did end up telling Q about it.”
“He told me. But we all know if it had been Teach, I would have been turned into a laughing stock behind my back.”
Izzy pondered on it. The old urge to defend his ex-husband despite it all wasn't there anymore.
“Probably, yeah.”
“So, are you ready to give it a shot?”
Izzy tapped his fingers on the table, deep in thoughts.
“I'm just scared it's going to become a compromise you'll regret.” He admitted.
“I've thought about that.” Q piped up. “And I may have started a new binder.” He confessed. “I needed to do something to keep my mind off of it or I was going to implode.”
“Are you really going to make us fake-date?” Izzy asked in disbelief.
“Well, not fake-date, per se, but maybe speed run through a series of carefully designed activities to encourage bonding, yes.”
Both Bond and Izzy were looking at him like he had just told them Mallory had a penchant for wearing tap-dance shoes in parliamentary meetings.
“What? It's worked once, it can work again. So long as you both approach this with an open mind, you might at least become friends.”
“Friends who share a partner.” Izzy observed.
“So what?”
“I'm willing to try it.” James interrupted. “I know we've mostly discussed this as Q dating the both of us without really speaking about what the relationship between you and me would look like, but I've been hoping we could at least become friends.”
“Just friends?”
“I don't think it's something we can predict, but I wouldn't be disappointed if it turned into something more.” He said honestly. “You?”
“Maybe it wouldn't feel as weird to me if we were all dating each other. Not that I want to be presumptuous, but, yeah, I'm open to that idea.” Izzy admitted. “So now I just need to say yes, do I?”
Q nodded. “I won't force your hand, but I would be really happy if you did. I really enjoyed our time together. And maybe I didn't catch on as fast as you but… well, you definitely weren't the only one with feelings all this time.”
“I guess it would be pretty hypocritical of me to bail now when I'm the one who told you to be brave.”
“You remember what we agreed on when we started this? No judgment. And I still mean it.”
“Still. I should try to be brave and stop running away.” He paused. “Alright. f*ck it, I'm in. I want to try it. With both of you.” He clarified.
Q smiled brightly, a heavy weight starting to lift from his heart. He took both James' and Izzy's hands in his.
“Just so you know, the binder is color coded.”
Laughter erupted from the room.
“Tell me eating sushi is the first step on the list. I'm f*cking starving.” Izzy complained.
Q chuckled. “It's not, but it can be step zero.”
“Hear, hear.” James agreed.
“It's too bad we don't have the flashcards, that was actually weirdly fun.” Izzy said as he dug in.
“That's really a thing you did?”
“Hm-hm. Izzy was really good at it. And true, we don't have the flashcards, but we could still quiz each other.”
“Why not.”
“Ok, one good answer means one bite, wrong answer and you gotta wait your turn again.” Q stated.
“Alright, I'm in, but Izzy should go first, he already ate.”
“Fine, what's the question?”
“What are the names of my cats?” Q smirked.
“Come on, you're going easy on him!” James protested. “Even I know that!”
“Oh yeah?” Izzy teased.
“Yes, KitKat and Oreo.”
“Well, f*ck, now you gotta find a new question.”
“Alright, alright!” Q hummed, trying to find something else. “What's one thing Bond is afraid of?”
Izzy smiled mischievously. “Your cats.”
“That's absolutely not true! This is character assassination! Why are you ganging up on me?” He groaned.
“Because it's really funny to see you so unsettled by his cats, sorry.”
“Now that at least one of my boyfriends appreciates my cats, I'll stop complaining.”
“I don't hate your cats!” James protested. “I just… need to get used to them. They're… naked.”
“I beg your pardon, they're adorable!”
“No, they are! But they don't feel like regular cats and it messes with my instincts. For some reason it's like I have to learn how to interact with an entirely new species. But I know they're just cats.”
Q rolled his eyes. “You're impossible. I can't believe the great 007 got defeated by Sphinx cats.”
“I'll spend more time with them, I promise.” He kissed Q, without really thinking about it, it just felt natural to do it. Q blushed but it felt right, like everything he had expected it to be. “If I get to know them better I'll stop feeling weird about them. That should fix it.” James concluded.
“I'll believe it when I see it.” Q gave him the benefit of the doubt, his cheeks still pink from the kiss.
They went on taking turns asking each other questions, laughing and having fun, even when they got it wrong. It was low stakes, they were getting to know each other better, shaking off some of the lingering awkwardness from their recent situation.
They parted in good spirits. Q hadn't wanted to part with either of them but it was probably what was reasonable. Besides, he had to go back to his cats.
He had only taken a few steps towards the tube station when he heard a shout behind him.
“Wait up!”
He turned around to see Bond motioning for him and Izzy to come back. Puzzled, he made his way back and so did Izzy.
“Caution would say it's probably too soon, but I don't want us to part just now.”
“Probably too soon, yeah.” Izzy muttered halfheartedly
Q knew what was waiting for Izzy at ‘home’, a maze of cardboard boxes in a place likely too small to really unbox anything.
“Well, if we're going anywhere, it's mine. I've got two cats to feed.” He said, with an impression of déjà vu. “Has anyone come here by car?”
Both Izzy and Bond shook their heads.
It felt like skipping school for some reason, as they all headed towards the right tube station to go to Q's. It was probably not entirely reasonable but sweet-tasting. Emboldened, Q intertwined his fingers with Izzy's while resting against James so as to not jerk forward with the motions of the subway. Izzy was blushing but he didn’t pull away. Bond had placed a steadying hand on his shoulder.
It was a short ride, Q's place wasn't far. Izzy had been there a few times, Bond only once. There was some tension hanging in the air as they walked from the station to Q's.
Q had to let go of Izzy's hand to open his door. The second they stepped inside, KitKat was all over Izzy. Everyone laughed, bursting the bubble of tension that had accumulated.
“I think we should leave them together.” James chuckled.
“I told you she loved him more than me!” Q said, indignated.
Izzy had scooped her up in his arms. She was purring so loudly everyone could hear her.
“Sorry, the competition is high.” He informed Bond.
“Oh, really? Well, you're lucky I'm up for a challenge.”
“Good luck.” Izzy replied, with the ghost of a smile at the corner of his lips. He kissed the top of KitKat's head and let her go.
Q washed his hands, put the kettle on and got three mugs out and fed the cats as they kept bickering in the entrance. He was smiling as well. It wasn't going too poorly so far.
“Hey, please wash your hands and remove your shoes when you're done.” He called from the kitchen.
He put everything on a tray and relocated to the living room where he sat on the couch as the boys dutifully washed their hands before joining him.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Bond asked Q.
“I was thinking about sleeping arrangements.”
Izzy and Q exchanged a look.
“What?” James asked.
“Well, we've shared a bed before, and I haven't come here to be shunted to a guest bedroom.” Izzy answered.
“I have to agree with that. We're either all sleeping separately and someone will have to take the couch, or all together.” Q stated.
James shrugged. “It will be a tight fit, but I've shared a bed with more than two people before, we will be fine.”
“And two cats.” Q and Izzy pointed out in unison.
“And two cats.” Bond acknowledged. “Should still fit. It's not even summer, we will be fine.”
“We have time to upgrade the bed come summer.” Q whispered. He felt optimistic when the only reason against them sharing a bed was the temperature.
Everyone seemed engrossed by their mug of tea, or rather their own thoughts.
“Do we say something at work?” Izzy asked after a while.
“I don’t know, not yet?” Q answered.
“Maybe we can see where it goes first. We're all in different units, we technically have no obligations to say anything.”
“Alright. I wanted to make sure where we stood.”
“We're not going to hide on purpose.” Q reassured.
“Yeah, I know.” Izzy lied.
“That's a promise. We're not hiding you. We just don't need public scrutiny while we figure things out. Or at least not officially. Maybe we're just thinking too much.” Q reassured.
“Maybe we've been thinking too much about other people.” James agreed. “I think we should let it happen, do what feels right, give ourselves time.”
“Since when did you become so wise?” Q asked.
“Since seeing a therapist became a requirement for field agents under the new management.”
“I didn't think you were going. Seeing how it went the last time you saw someone, I mean.”
James shrugged. “It’s a different guy. And let's say that Teach put up such a fuss about it that it put things into perspective.”
“Well, it was conveniently implemented after his fiasco.” Izzy piped up. “They sent me to their shrink after that too, actually.”
“Did it help you?” Bond asked him.
“I'm still going, but yeah, it's helped. More than I thought it would.”
“Good.”
“He's still not going, is he?”
“Not that I'm aware, no. Tanner and Mallory are pissed about it. But I won't lie, it was somewhat satisfying to hear Mallory scream that even I was going without complaining about it. Teach stormed right off after that.”
“Maybe that's why he is retiring. Probably thinks it's going to fix everything.” Izzy grumbled.
“It's not your problem anymore, though. He made his bed, he can lie in it.”
Izzy nodded. “Guess that's true enough.”
“Speaking of bed, we should go find ours.” Q said, putting his empty mug down.
“Yeah, still gotta go to work tomorrow.” Izzy agreed, getting up.
Q lent toothbrushes. Bond and Izzy decided to sleep in their underwear seeing that nothing of Q's was going to reasonably fit them. Izzy wasn't shy about being trans - often wearing rugged pride t-shirts at work - and Bond wasn't fazed in the slightest.
“Does this mean you and Bond are going to wear the same clothes that you did the day before?” Q observed
“Only Bond, I’m afraid. I've got a change of clothes at work.” He smirked.
“Oooouh.” Q teased.
James shook his head from side to side.
“You're both impossible.”
Q and Izzy were grinning like teenagers, a little too proud of themselves.
They all finally climbed into bed, Q in the middle, KitKat between him and Izzy, James at his back, Oreo on top of his head on his pillow. It was a tight fit, but they made it work. As he fell asleep, Q hoped it would be an omen for what lay in their future.
They texted. Q had not been ready for how much of a texter Bond would turn out to be. It was like some great divide had tumbled down and now Bond no longer restricted himself to carefully crafted and limited texts and just… went with it.
They made a group chat, which was where most pictures of Oreo and KitKat went, except for the ones of KitKat which Q sent to Izzy every night as a goodnight text when he wasn't spending the night there.
They had decided to spend weekends together as a sort of trial. They always slept at Q's because of his cats, but no one seemed to mind.
They had also agreed on a lunch spot somewhere in the maze of tunnels of the MI6. They went there if they wanted to and if they could. Sometimes it was the three of them, sometimes only two, sometimes only one or no one. Eventually, they had all had one-on-ones with each other.
Q and Bond went to the National Gallery on their first solo date, it was where they had first met.
They took their time touring the place, Bond enjoyed tracking down the paintings of Constable in the many rooms of the museum, Q wanted to see The Skiff, a painting by Renoir, and another one by Van Gogh, Wheat field with Cypresses.
They sometimes pulled away from each other, absorbed by this or that painting, letting the other spend time with their thoughts and their own appreciation of art, but they never strayed too far from each other. If it had been with anyone else, it might have felt weird sharing so much of this date in silence, but not with James.
Eventually, they met in front of The Fighting Temeraire by Turner. They hadn’t planned to, but they naturally came to it. They sat on the same bench they had sat on that day which felt like a lifetime ago, except this time they were sitting much closer. Their thighs and shoulders were touching.
“Still seeing a ‘bloody big ship’?” Q was the first one to break the silence.
“Can’t believe you remembered that.” James muttered. “And you, do you still see the ‘inevitability of time’, I believe it was?”
“I don’t think I do, no. I think I see some sort of new beginning. It must be the hidden romantic in me.” He paused. “I think,” he started again, “I see an ancient burden being taken away. That burden served a purpose, but now it’s time to watch it go. But don’t think I didn’t notice you didn’t answer my question.”
“No, I didn’t.” James confirmed. “I do see something else.” He said, cryptically.
“You’re not going to say?”
James stayed silent for a long time. Q was no impatient and he let him be.
“Perhaps something new can be done with that bloody big old ship.” James said at last.
He reached for Q’s hand and held it, but said nothing more. Q didn’t ask for more. However, Bond gave him more. He turned and kissed him, softly, chastely. Q’s breath caught, butterflies were in his stomach and a past version of him was cheering. Maybe kissing a cute boy in a museum had been on Q’s wishlist since he had been a teenager.
He was definitely blushing when he kissed James back, but he couldn’t have felt steadier. This was like a puzzle piece finally being reunited with its bigger picture and finding its rightful place. James was smiling as they parted.
“I’ve dreamt of doing that for a while.” James confessed.
“It’s not the first time you’ve kissed me.” Q noted.
“Maybe. But maybe I also came back to our first meeting time and time again thinking about how it would feel to do it here.” He bit his lips to cover a coy smile.
Q averted his gaze.
“Perhaps that’s a discussion we should revisit later.” He mumbled. “When we’re not in public.”
Bond chuckled.
“Let’s have tea, then. It’s almost time anyway.”
He kept Q’s hand in his as he got up and led them to the Ochre, the National Gallery’s restaurant, where they enjoyed its seasonal afternoon tea. Q felt adventurous and he ordered a lapsang souchong with the pre-selected assortment of pastries. James stayed more conservative and decided to have their signature earl grey. He let Q have a taste.
The food was delicious, but really Q could only focus on the warmth of James’ love which he harbored in his chest, and on the ghost of his lips on his, and the callousness of his palm, and the spark in his eyes when he smiled at him. He didn’t doubt that this afternoon would become a most cherished memory.
Izzy and Q went back to Kew but with Bond this time. He had shockingly never been and they decided to get a guided tour.
Mostly, it was an excuse to have a picnic and to sprawl together on a blanket in the shy rays of the spring sun. Even if it had been a little chilly, it had been worth it.
This time, no goose incident was to be reported.
They still went back to the greenhouse that held the water lilies. Q liked it as much as the first time. He held Bond's hand and pointed at the biggest and smallest water lilies in the world which were both in the room.
Q let go of Bond's hand to go and wander around the room. James stayed by Izzy as they both looked at Q.
“Tired of me yet?” Izzy asked, taking advantage of the distraction.
“Quite the opposite.” He didn't miss a beat. “It's hard not to get attached, actually.” James confessed.
Izzy was blushing as pink as some of the lilies in the pond. They hadn’t yet kissed. Izzy had wanted to but he had never dared. They were the only configuration of their trio who hadn’t.
They were alone save for Q who obviously wouldn’t mind. Izzy took a step towards Bond. James closed the distance.
It was short and sweet. Q didn’t miss a second of it. His heart was doing somersaults in his ribcage. He felt as if he would have needed his ventolin.
James and Izzy spotted him looking when they separated. Bond extended an arm towards him and Q sauntered to join them, feeling a little giddy. Izzy didn’t look too unhappy either.
James kissed Q as well, for good measure. He felt happy, surrounded by the two men he loved most.
Q let Bond and Izzy go on a hike together. They had offered to bring him with, but he had declined. He enjoyed seeing them do their own thing together, though most of what they discussed ahead of preparations went over his head.
Besides, he had plans of his own. After seeing them off, he showered, gathered his things and went outside. He fancied some shopping.
He came home before them which was just as well as he needed to get KitKat to agree to something and that often proved to be a lengthy process.
And indeed, about a solid hour later, the front door opened to let Bond and Izzy see him desperately trying to bargain with his cat.
“Come on, Kit. Oreo did so well with his, and it's for Izzy!”
“What's for me?”
Q startled. He scrambled to his feet.
“A surprise? But it needs Kit's cooperation and she isn’t willing to play nice.” He sighed.
Said cat was now chirping happily seeing her favorite person had come home.
“Why aren’t you being nice to Q, uh?” Izzy asked her as she intertwined herself around his legs.
“She just has strong fashion opinions and I might have missed the mark.” He sighed. “But it was hard finding an exact match! Anyway,” he strode over to them, “how was the hike?”
“Great!” He smiled, placing his arms around Q's waist before kissing him. “We saw a fox. And did you know James was also a birder?”
“No, I didn't!”
“I don’t know that I am. It was only a childhood hobby of mine.” James countered.
“You still remembered lots.”
He shrugged. “Birds are everywhere, it's easy to keep practicing.”
“I'm glad you two had fun.”
“Yes, we did. You should come with us someday.”
“On an easy one, maybe.”
“Promise. I don't think killing you is in our interest, though one of us does have a license to kill.” Izzy jested.
Q rolled his eyes. “Very funny.”
Izzy tried to suppress a smile and kissed the pout off of Q's face.
“Can I know what the surprise is?”
“I got you and Kit matching neckties.” He showed him the pair that lay on the coffee table. “Hers velcros on her t-shirt but she won't let me put it on. I think she would if she saw you wear yours, though.”
“Oh, yes, I so want to see that.” Bond piped up.
Izzy laughed. “Only if you two and Oreo are also wearing your matching bowties.”
After finally asking to see Q's and Oreo’s matching bowties collection one evening, they had realized Bond also had one that was exactly like one of the pairs they had. Izzy had been pestering him to bring it along to see them all matching but he had yet to be successful.
“Deal.” James readily agreed.
“Do you have yours here?” Q asked.
“Unfortunately, no. But I'll bring it next time?”
Izzy shook his head. “Then I'll wear mine next time. But thank you,” he kissed Q again, “I love it.”
Q couldn’t help the blush on his face and the warm feeling in his chest.
Bond was muttering it wasn't fair, that he promised he would bring his next time. Izzy kissed him to shut him up.
“Should have been more prepared.” He teased.
Bond sighed. “Fine, but I'm not forgetting about it.” He warned.
“Is this a challenge? Because I bet I could make you forget.” There was a hint of lust in his voice.
“I would like to see you try, Hands.” Bond retorted.
“Well that's getting interesting.” Q commented as he suddenly found himself dragged in the direction of the bedroom.
“Looks like you're going to get in some exercise after all.”
“Really, now is the time to tease me?”
“It always works you up, doesn't it?”
“I- No!” He sputtered.
Giggles were heard as they shed clothes.
A fair amount of time later, they were all nestled in bed together, delaying the moment where they would have to shower to enjoy some peaceful snuggles.
“f*ck, we need a bigger bed if we're going to keep doing this.” Izzy pointed out, massaging his tender ribs.
Bond chuckled. “I'm really sorry I elbowed you.” He apologized, reaffirming his grip on both Izzy and Q who were on either side of him.
“To my defense, I never thought that's a problem I might have when I picked this bed when I moved in.”
“Yeah, but we do need to do something about it.”
“I'll handle it.” Bond promised.
“You do occupy about fifty percent of the available space just on your own.”
Bond shoved Izzy further towards the edge of the bed.
“Hey!” Izzy protested. “It's not my fault you're a giant while we're reasonably sized.” He grumped.
“Don't we say fun-sized?”
Izzy shoved a pillow at Bond.
“I'm 5’7, it's a perfectly normal size!”
“Hey! Stop it! I'm about to fall off the bed!” Q protested.
“Sorry!”
They calmed down again, their breathing eased and everyone recentered towards the middle of the bed until Q no longer had half his ass hanging in the air.
“The wedding is coming up.” Izzy realized. “It's weird, I hadn’t thought about it in a while.”
The wedding was in a few days. They had all been together for a month but it somehow felt longer than that.
“Do you still want to go?” Q asked.
Izzy sighed and bit the side of his thumb. Q pried his hand off his teeth and rubbed soothing circles on the back of it instead.
“I'm not sure, no.” He paused. “Have any of you seen Ed since he came back?”
Both Q and Bond shook their heads.
“I think he immediately took time off for his wedding after debriefing.” James said.
“Is he really going to retire?”
“I mean, that was still very much on the table from what I heard.” Q supplied.
“He doesn't know.” Bond realized. “He has no idea you have a partner, let alone two. Are you worried about him finding out?”
“I don't know.” Izzy mumbled. “It felt like a good idea when it was supposedly fake, when there were no stakes. But I don't want to hear people saying sh*tty things about the two people I care about most.”
Q kissed Izzy's hand, Bond the top of his head.
“He left you, he can hardly be mad you've found someone else.”
“Wouldn’t be so sure about that. He left me, yes, and after having cheated on me, yes. But it was all with the expectation I would never find anyone else.”
“That's his problem. It was stupid to think you'd stay celibate. So what, he invited you just so he could… spite you? make you jealous?”
Izzy shrugged. “No f*cking clue. At first I thought it was Bonnet’s doing but not according to Jack. And seeing all of our interactions since he practically kicked me out, I don't think it's some weird f*cked up kind of olive branch either.”
“We should all go to the wedding.” Bond declared, after no one had said anything for a while. “What?” Q blurted, confused.
“Have you lost your mind?” Izzy suddenly turned to face him.
“Why? We shouldn't have to hide, it's stupid. And we should show Teach how stupid he was for wrecking his marriage and letting you go. Not that I'm too mad about it seeing how it turned out for us, but the point still stands.”
“He's got a point.” Q agreed. “If we can't stand by it, people are going to start whispering about us cheating on each other, which is the exact opposite of what we're doing. And sorry, but I refuse to have myself compared to Teach.”
Izzy grumbled.
“You're both mad.”
“Are you ashamed of us?” James asked.
“What? Of course not, you twat.”
“Then we should all go. Own it.”
Izzy thought about it for a second, he tried to imagine how it would feel, how it would go.
“Maybe I'll get some good use out of the bedding from the venue after all.” He smiled smugly.
“I can't believe you!” Q swatted at Izzy.
“I feel like I'm missing something.” James squinted.
“I'll explain it to you later.” Q said, a little red in the face.
“Does this mean we're going?”
“I think it does, yes.”
“My RSVP only mentioned a plus one, though.” Izzy interrupted.
“Oh, I got an invitation as well, so we're covered.” James replied.
“What?”
James nodded. “He decided to invite every agent in the 00 unit. A security nightmare, so most of us declined, but since I was away, and since I've been, hm, busy, I haven't answered yet.”
“f*ck. We definitely need to tell management about it.” Q realized.
“Probably, yes.”
“I will do it.” James volunteered. “Tanner will be too happy for me to be able to disapprove.”
That got a laugh out of both Izzy and Q. James rolled his eyes.
Tanner was indeed too surprised and weirdly happy to grumble too much about it. Even though much to Bond's amazement, there was a form for them to fill about it. Moneypenny teased him endlessly as she handed it to him, but really, she was happy for him too.
The most complicated part about going to the wedding was to convince Izzy to get one of his suits tailored. It was hard to make him accept finer things in general, so getting a new suit for the occasion in such a short notice was a lost battle, but both Q and Bond agreed that having even an average suit tailored could make a world of difference.
Eventually, Izzy relented, if only because they kept pestering him about how good he would look, making not very subtle innuendos about the bedding at the venue.
Bond did not forget about his matching bowtie and Izzy lost a tenner. And he grumbled about it, but having had his suit tailored did make a big difference. He caught his partners ogling him as he appreciated the final product while looking at himself in a mirror and shook his head.
Q insisted they tried their outfit on to make sure everything fit. They seized this opportunity to take a picture of all of them with the cats in matching gear. Their happy, weird little family. Even Bond agreed the cats looked adorable, especially Izzy and KitKat - who had immediately accepted to wear her new necktie once she had seen Izzy with his, much to Q's dismay.
The drive was only two hours. The venue was some sort of old renovated castle not too far from Brighton.
Bond tried to have them let him take the db5 but Izzy vetoed it, arguing there weren’t even seat belts in the backseat and that he didn't have the time to put any in, and that on top of that, the suspensions were lacking compared to a modern car and his back was not what it used to be. Q was equally not keen on driving inside a car for two hours without a seat belt on, especially not when they would have to go through London. Bond grumbled but agreed on taking Izzy's car.
Izzy let Bond drive, part of it as a consolation prize and another part because with his nerves he would rather not be behind the wheel. Facing Ed made him more anxious than he cared to admit. He had barely seen him since the whole Bonnet fiasco and the divorce.
Q noticed how tense he was and they briefly stopped the car outside of London after he had convinced Izzy to go in the back with him so that he could help him settle. He spent the entire ride with an armful of Izzy, gently petting his hair which he had kept short since his divorce.
“We can still turn back or get a hotel room somewhere for the weekend.” He whispered.
“No.” Izzy shook his head. “We're doing this. I need to do it. And he shouldn't have invited me to his stupid wedding if he wasn’t going to be able to deal with me there. Even if I were to bring a plus one.” He grumbled. “I want to face him before he retires and I finally don't have to see him again.”
Q nodded against him.
“Alright.”
Bond eyed them through the rear view mirror.
“We'll be there with you.”
“Yeah, I know. Thank you. I wouldn’t want to do it without you both.”
Q smiled and kissed him softly.
They arrived early on Saturday morning. They had decided to skip rehearsal dinner which had happened the evening before and to come alongside most of the crowd the next day. The wedding ceremony wasn't actually before Sunday morning.
They had debated only going for the ceremony but they thought it might be better if the predictable drama could happen before the ceremony as their goal wasn't to spoil the wedding, only to give Edward a small taste of his own medicine, merely by just existing and being there.
They parked the car in front of a beautiful old castle and perfectly curated gardens. Q gave Izzy a last kiss before he climbed out of the car and James stole one as he came out. They headed for check-in but left their baggage behind for now.
“Hello there, have you come together?” The lady handling arrivals asked them.
“Yes, but we have two different reservations.”
“I see, what are the names, please?”
“Hands with a plus one, and Bond, alone.”
“Alright, everything seems in order, there is just, one little thing, Mr. Hands. It seems you were put in a room with a single, but I see here that Mr. Bond is in a room equipped with a super king bed, so we can just switch you up if that's no trouble for you?”
“Sure, we'll do that.” Izzy already had murderous urges, but she wasn't responsible for the situation, Ed probably was, so he stayed polite. Besides, it wasn't like it mattered much as they weren't going to use both beds anyway.
“Actually,” Bond piped up, briefly looking at Izzy to see if he was going to stop him, but he didn't, “we won't be needing two rooms, just mine should be fine.”
The woman had a small moment of absence before she quickly regained her composure.
“Really? Well, that's just as well, we never know if we may not need additional rooms to accommodate for unexpected guests. Thank you. Here are your keys, and here is all the information you'll need for the weekend.”
They got the keys with a heavy envelope and went back to the car for their luggage.
“That didn't feel like an accident, or am I the only one thinking that?” Bond asked.
“You definitely aren't.” Izzy muttered.
“Well, joke's on him, only one of those beds was ever going to get any use.”
That drew a smile on Izzy's face.
“That's true.”
They carried the suits in their cases and their bags to the room they had been given.
“Hey look, canopy bed!”
“Great, so now we can add concussion risks to the list.” Izzy grumbled.
“Tss, stop pouting, I've already started looking up new beds as promised.”
“And that bed is noticeably bigger. If anything, someone might get lost rather than concussed.” Q noted.
“Alright, alright. I'm just crabby because of this whole thing.” Izzy admitted as he sat onto the bed and let himself flop backwards.
Q and Bond imitated him.
“Ok, let's do some externalization.” That was something the MI6's therapist was fond of. “What's worrying you?”
“Causing a scene in public?”
“We'll be there to keep it to a minimum and even rescue you if necessary.”
“Acting ashamed of us?”
“You weren't at the check-in.”
“That was you.”
“Let's say it was. We still know you're not, hm?”
“Of course I'm not.”
“What's next then?”
Izzy fidgeted.
“f*cking seeing Ed.”
“Ok, have you thought about what's important for you in seeing Ed?”
“I want to stop caring about it.”
“Is that a realistic goal we can accomplish in the next twenty minutes?”
“No.” Izzy groaned.
“Ok, what can we control?”
“I want to keep my cool. I don't want to get overwhelmed by my feelings and turn into a stuttering, incoherent mess if he confronts me.”
“I think we can help with that. Teach doesn't impress me much.”
“You know I have no qualms about putting 00s in their place.” Q reminded him.
“Yeah, ok.”
“If it comes to it, we'll intervene to give you time to gather yourself, ok?”
Izzy nodded. “Alright.”
“Anything else?”
He turned his face to hide in Bond's shoulder. “I want to stand my ground and be proud of where I am today.”
“You will. And you have us to help.”
“Yes, we're here.”
They shifted further up the bed and enjoyed a silent moment in each other's arms before they would have to go out and mingle with others.
“Someone should take a look at that information package.”
“On it.” Q said as he got up to retrieve the envelope.
“So, what’s the program?”
“They're giving a speech at eleven, lunch at twelve… we can sign up for different activities for the afternoon, then dinner dance, ceremony the next morning at eleven in the gardens. The rest of the packet is just more information about the place and additional details.”
“A f*cking speech? As if they aren't going to give one during the ceremony as well.” Izzy groaned.
“Come on, chin up! We can sign up for the meditation class this afternoon, I bet this is spent in silence.” Q teased.
“Absolutely not! I'll lose my mind if I do that now.” Izzy muttered.
Q laughed. “More seriously, there are walks to discover the countryside around here, we can also stay here for a ballroom dancing class, or we could go to the beachfront.”
“I'm voting for the beachfront or the nature walk.” Izzy said.
“I haven't seen the sea in a while.” Q mused.
“We should go to the sea, I bet we can probably ditch the group if we want and find a place to walk alongside the cliffs.” James proposed.
“Yeah, I'm in.” Izzy agreed.
“Alright, let's get ready for lunch then.”
They dressed smartly but casually enough that they wouldn't have to change before dinner or even possibly before the next day.
Q was holding Izzy's hand as they went downstairs to the dining hall. They saluted a few people they recognized on their way there. Bond immediately clocking their security people who had had to be dispatched to oversee things.
They took a seat at a table in a far corner. Izzy had no interest in being in the spotlight, and Bond prefered sitting with his back to a wall, not too far from exits.
They all looked at the stage where a standing microphone had been placed as the chatter was dying down upon the happy couple making their entrance.
Stede Bonnet looked like a right aristocrat in his old fashioned baby blue suit and his blond curls, especially next to Teach who was adorning ripped jeans with fishnet stockings underneath and a purple half tank-top, showing off his belly button and his tattoos. They did make for a striking duo.
They climbed onto the stage, Bonnet tapped on the microphone and Izzy winced. Q was watching all of this with some sort of morbid fascination. Bond looked like he was on a mission, face neutrally blank and body at rest. The couple held hands while facing the crowd as Bonnet finally started speaking, Ed seemed to be scanning the audience.
They could all see the exact moment Edward spotted Izzy with Bond and Q flanking him. He faltered just for a second, his eyes clouded over, his lips tightened, his free hand balled up into a fist before he schooled himself into a more normal disposition, but the trio took stock of how tense he still looked. Bonnet seemed to be sensing it through the crushing death grip Ed was putting his poor fingers through.
The speech in itself was boring and sappy, almost incomprehensible at times but it became worse when Bonnet handed over to Ed who no longer seemed to recall what he was supposed to say and started going on tangents which frequently involved his ex-husband.
Izzy was gripping his partners’ hands very tightly under the table and they were squeezing back just as tightly.
“It will be over soon.” Q whispered.
At least the entire room seemed uncomfortable, it wasn't just them.
As soon as Ed stopped talking and Bonnet thanked the crowd who politely applauded, he made a beeline for their table.
“f*ck.” Izzy swore under his breath.
“Need us to run interferences?”
“No.” Izzy tried to keep his breathing even. “But don't leave me.”
“Not going anywhere.”
“Not a chance.” Bond confirmed.
Ed was onto them before they could say anything else.
“What are you doing here?” He demanded.
“You invited me, remember?” Izzy replied.
“I didn't do that for you to prance around like a cat in heat.” He growled.
Izzy took a big breath. He didn't want to cause a scene.
“A cat in heat, really?”
“Yes, and you look really ridiculous, mate.”
“Is that so?”
“Oh come on, it's really sad to still be playing gooseberry at your age, mate.”
“I'm not your mate, Ed, and I'm not being the third wheel, I'm with my boyfriends.”
“You don't have a boyfriend.”
“I do.” There was an ‘s’ at the end of that word, you twat, he wanted to scream.
“I would know about it.”
“No, you wouldn't. You're too self absorbed for that.”
“It's not my fault I have a life, you mean. Now, I don’t recall this wedding venue accepting whor*s, so pack up and get the f*ck out!”
“Edward, we don't kick guests out!” Bonnet chastised, suddenly appearing at their table. He had come to investigate. “And you're the one who insisted on inviting them.” He gently reminded him.
“Yeah? Well that was before I knew he would come with those pricks!”
“Excuse me? How did you just call my partners?” If Izzy was well accustomed to being called names by Ed, he wasn’t going to allow him to treat his partners the same way.
“Oh come on now, you're fooling no one.” Ed changed tactics. “How much has he paid you to come?” He directed his question at Q.
“Do you sincerely think I could be paid to come to your wedding? Now I feel insulted.” Q looked pointedly at him.
“I thought…”
“You thought what, Edward?” Izzy asked.
“Well, I thought he,” he pointed at Q, “had dumped you for him.” He pointed at Bond this time.
Izzy decided to find it amusing. “Quite the opposite, really.”
“Yes, awfully sorry to disappoint, but it's more like we decided to expand rather than break up. I mean, who would want to let go of him,” Q' fingers found their way around Izzy's but above the table this time, “he is really quite a catch. One would truly have to be foolish to ever let him go.”
“Yes.” James piped up. “I wouldn't dream of ever losing him. He is one of the best things that happened to me.” And he found that he meant every word of it.
Maybe Izzy was beet red. But he felt emboldened too, and fiercely loved.
“Always had to outdo me, didn't you?” Ed snarled.
Izzy strangled a laugh.
“I really wouldn’t dream of it, Edward.”
“Come on, Edward, let's leave them in peace.” Stede was softly tugging on his fiancé's arm. “I'm sure they're not looking to cause any disturbance and they're on the guests list.”
“You're on their side?!”
“Edward.” Stede sighed stiffly. “I didn't let you invite your ex-husband so that you could cause a scene at our wedding, this is not proper behavior.”
“I'm causing a scene? I'm causing a scene?!”
“Yes, darling, you are.” Stede said in hushed but forceful tones. “People are looking at us. And those scary looking men look ready to intervene at a second's notice.”
To their defense, Edward was looking on the verge of becoming belligerent with three important assets of the MI6.
Ed looked at them and back at the object of his vile mood, weighing his chances.
“Fine.” Ed huffed. “Enjoy your f*cking stay.” He snarled before abruptly turning away and storming off.
“I'm so very sorry, gentlemen.” Stede apologized awkwardly. “I do hope you'll enjoy your stay despite this little incident.”
He gave them a flustered smile before going off after his soon-to-be husband.
Izzy slumped on his chair ever so slightly.
“f*ck.” He groaned.
“You did great.” James had a hand on his back.
“At least it's done.” Izzy agreed.
“Are we still staying for the ceremony?” Q asked.
“Yes. I want to make sure the f*cker actually gets married so that I can move on for good.”
“Alright, well, let's eat and then we can go to the beach.”
“Oh, yeah, about that. I had a look at the menu and I don't think I can really eat any of the stuff.” Izzy was clearly over it already. “But that's fine, so long as you don't mind me getting something once we're out.”
“Should we ditch the lunch and all get fish and chips by the sea?” Bond suggested.
“We should stay until people start filtering out.” Izzy said.
“Or we could slip away while everyone is still chatting. Lunch won't be served for another fifteen minutes or so.” Q observed.
Izzy looked at them.
“f*ck. Fine. Let's ditch lunch.”
Bond and Q smiled.
They stealthily slipped away through the back and to their car, heading for a nearby beach.
“If we want to avoid the wedding crowd we could skip Brighton and try Rottingdean, Saltdean or even Newhaven, but that's further out.” Q listed as he looked at a map.
“Have you been to any of these before?”
“Rottingdean is nice. And we can walk to Saltdean from there.” Bond offered.
“Sounds like a plan.”
Q inputted the address into the GPS.
They had no trouble finding a fish and chips van and ordered three servings that they ate while walking along the pier.
There was just the right amount of wind and after the awkward atmosphere of the wedding, it felt liberating.
Eventually they sat on a bench, enjoying the sound of the waves and their impressive sights, the sound of seagulls swooping through the sky and the tanguy smell of the marine air.
“What was it tonight?” Bond asked.
“Dancing dinner.” Q provided.
“We should stay here, have a nice day out, small fire when evening comes, I saw a supermarket on the way here, I'm sure we can find a few things.” He started devising a plan.
“I've got a couple blankets in the car from the picnic we did at Kew.” Izzy added.
“I'm in.” Q said.
The setting sun found them laughing over a small fire they had made from driftwood and fallen branches. They were huddled together, speaking of nothing in particular, making grilled marshmallows after having eaten their weight in store bought crisps and sandwiches.
It was so nice Izzy found himself wishing he could live in that pocket of time for the rest of his life. The fire reflected on their faces and, later, when they went back to the venue, their clothes smelled of wood fire as they undressed each other, tenderly kissing with all the time they needed in front of them to find and lose themselves in each other over and over again.
The mattress felt almost too big as they fell asleep in each other's arms.
They were surprisingly well rested when morning came. They all had a shower and went early to breakfast before going back to their room to get dressed.
Bond helped Izzy with his tie, managing to do a perfect Windsor knot in a few swift motions which, Izzy had no qualms admitting, was impressive. He put in his cufflinks, helping Bond with his before he sat on the bed, ready to go.
“Are you… Are you wearing contacts?” Izzy asked Q as he got out of the ensuite, letting Bond take his place.
“Yes?”
“This is weird. It feels like I've fallen into a different timeline.”
“Oh hush! It took me forever to put them in, I almost never wear them.”
“You don't like it?”
“They start hurting after a couple of hours.”
“I- why the f*ck are you wearing them, then?”
“Because glasses are hardly a good look, are they?”
“They definitely are on you. I don't know what you're talking about.”
“Oh come on, don't be daft, I just look like a four-eyes.”
“Like a- I can't believe you. Aren't you the one who told me I looked, and I quote, sexy with my reading glasses on?”
“But that's not the same!”
“How?!”
“What's happening?” Bond asked as he emerged back from the ensuite.
“Q thinks he doesn’t look as good with his glasses on than without.”
“That's ludicrous.”
“Ah! Thank you! That's what I told him.”
“Really?” Q asked.
“I can tell you that it's definitely working for me. Always has.” Bond confirmed.
“See, you shouldn't torture yourself, love.” Izzy took his face between his hands and kissed his cheekbone.
“Ugh. Now I have to take them off. How much time do we have? It's gonna hurt.” He whined.
“Well, it's gonna hurt anyway in a matter of hours. Take your time, we're in no rush, we got up early. And I've got eye drops in my wash bag, you can use them.”
“Alright.” Q took a deep breath, steadying his nerves and going back to the ensuite.
Izzy went to investigate when he started hearing pained noises.
“You alright?”
“I'm never wearing those things again.”
“Good idea. Are they out?”
“Yes. But the light hurts.” He cried tearfully.
“Come here. Close your eyes.” Izzy said as he took a couple of cotton pads to make hot compresses.
He wet them with hot water until they were hot to the touch but reasonably so and gently lay them over Q's eyelids.
“f*ck.”
“Feels good?”
Q nodded. Izzy repeated the procedure a few times, leaving them on until they cooled down and reapplying them for a few minutes.
“Alright, I'll need you to open your eyes just a bit to let me put a couple of drops from the artificial tears, then you can close them again.”
Q did as instructed, only wincing a little at the light but it was much more bearable.
“Keep them close for a minute or so and it should feel better already.
“I don't know what I would have done without you.”
“Probably cried uncontrollably for fifteen to twenty minutes.”
Q swatted in his general direction but smiled.
“I'll pack the eye drops just in case.”
“Thank you.”
They exited the ensuite and Q reunited with his glasses.
“I'm never betraying you again.” He promised as he put them on.
Izzy looked at the three of them. They did clean up nicely. Q was wearing a sensible light gray three-piece suit with a turquoise-blue shirt underneath his vest and suit jacket and a matching bowtie. Bond had gone for a similar look with a matching bowtie as well but without a vest and with a white shirt, and Izzy was in a dark gray suit with a deep green shirt and matching tie.
They descended the stairs to find the gardens where they sat in the last row of chairs that had been carefully arranged and decorated for the ceremony.
Soon enough, the orchestra started playing the wedding march and Ed and Stede made their entrance, walking down the aisle.
Stede was wearing the frilliest thing known to man: a completely white suit, with a white shirt, a white jacket with a big collar, white trousers, actual stockings, white dress shoes with small heels and simply white everything. But it was his wedding, he was free to wear whatever he liked, and he seemed happy in it.
Edward had donned Louboutins with a little black dress, and kohl around his eyes with a tiara in his long curls.
Izzy remembered that he used to be into that look. It was part of what had attracted him in the first place, that sort of carefree, extravagant and provoking aura with a wild undercurrent.
But now? Now he aspired for peace, routine even. He enjoyed the predictability of Q's nerdy look which he found very endearing, and the carefully fashionable outfits Bond favored, though he was getting to see a little more whimsiness to it now that he also saw him outside of the office, it suited James, Izzy liked the color on him.
He enjoyed knowing he would wake up to them on weekends, enjoyed the evenings they spent nestled on the couch with an assortment of cats, enjoyed their quiet outings…
Truly, he couldn’t ever dream of outdoing Ed. He cherished his warm and steady life too much for it. Just as much as he enjoyed having found two loving people he was free to live with, people who viewed him on an equal footing and appreciated him just as much as he did them.
The grooms exchanged vows and soon enough they were kissing in front of an applauding crowd.
Izzy felt free to finally, entirely let go. He got up as everyone was too busy cheering and standing as well to really pay them attention.
They had already packed their bags and only had to drop the keys at the reception desk. They let James handle it as it was technically ‘his’ room and waited for him by the car.
“Oh, by the way,” Q started, apropos of nothing, “I did say I would tell you if you were a good boy at the wedding, and I dare say you were, so…” He bent down to whisper into a blushing Izzy’s ear.
“Really?! That's… You're pulling my leg.”
Q shook his head.
“I'm not. That's really my name. What can I say, my parents had really peculiar tastes… You are, of course, absolutely forbidden to tell another breathing soul or I will poison your food. Not enough to kill you, but enough to make your life hell. Not even James knows.”
“Please don't, my guts and stomach already hate me enough. I won't tell a soul, I promise.”
“Alright.” He kissed Izzy softly. “No food poisoning for you.”
“Ready to go home?” Bond asked, joining them.
“Oh yes, you can f*cking bet.” Izzy answered.
They left without looking back, without a second thought. And two hours later they were happily reunited with two critters who acted as if they hadn't seen them in weeks, which might have felt like it for them.
They all reconvened around a cup of tea on the couch after changing into more comfortable clothes. Someone put on The Great British Bake Off and they all soon dozed-off in the warmth of their home, cuddling with humans and cats alike.
The delivery of the new bed a month or so later prompted a discussion on everyone's residency. Realistically they were almost all living with Q's at least from Friday to Monday, sometimes more.
“I mean, no one is moving into my sh*tty studio apartment, I'm not even entirely sure the ventilation system would survive three people living in there for more than twelve hours.” Izzy pointed out. “We could all decide to move out to a new place we would find together, but I feel bad with that option knowing how much effort you put into your home.” He told Q.
“I do like my home very much.” Q admitted.
“I think we all do.” Bond said.
“I've actually never been to your place.” Q realized.
Bond shrugged. “Probably more salubrious than Izzy's but not much better. Remember when I ‘died' and they sold my place and put all of my stuff in storage?”
Q nodded. Izzy raised an eyebrow.
“Great, well, they helped me find a new, fairly standard two bedroom apartment, but really I just moved everything from storage to the new place and didn't really unpacked more than a handful of boxes.”
“You are both absolutely impossible.” Q groaned.
“Hey! If I unpack even one box it would just be to put the stuff on top of the other boxes. I've got no room to spare!”
“I mean… I'm usually gone for more than half the year… unboxing wasn't exactly part of my priorities before.”
“Do you both have a lot of things?” Q asked.
“Not a lot that I care about.” Bond answered. “Otherwise I might have unpacked it.”
“I would gladly let go of a bunch of stuff. I really only held onto it because I thought I would move out to somewhere more suitable one day and I didn't want to buy all that sh*t again.”
“If we reorganize a few things we could probably all live here. We need more dressing space, but if we refurbish the walk-in closet in the bedroom that should work. I want to keep the guest room for my sister and my mom, and perhaps friends, but we can rearrange the laundry room, it was supposed to be a third, smaller bedroom according to the floor plan. And I've got a garage, actually.”
“You've got a garage and you're only telling me now?!” Izzy asked in disbelief.
“Believe me, your car is better off in the covered car park than in my garage. It's the only thing I haven't had any work done on since buying the place. It's underground.”
“Well, I can tackle that. If you're ok with it being turned into a workshop and storage space.”
“It's yours! It's a space that always felt quite out of my depth.”
“Wait, what about your db5?” Izzy asked Bond.
“It's not like I use her every day. She can stay safely tucked away in her garage where she is.”
“It isn’t part of your flat?”
Bond shook his head. “No, it didn't have one. I rented someplace else.”
“So that's settled?” Q asked tentatively.
“Well, I can help with the home adjustments. I have a lot of vacation time to take and it might do me good.” James said.
“I can give you a hand after work.” Q offered. “So long as it's not heavy duty work.”
Bond laughed. “It really shouldn't be.”
“What time window are we aiming for?” Izzy asked.
“Two? Three months? Something like that?” Q suggested.
“Alright. I mean, worse comes to worst, you'll just have a few home renovations to enjoy for yourself.”
“I really hope not. I'm in this for hopefully as long as I live and breathe.”
Both Izzy and James echoed his sentiment.
About two and a half months later, after having officially moved in together a couple of weeks prior and only a week after Bond had gone back to work, they found themselves enjoying their lunch break together.
“This morning I heard they were going to be training a new 00 agent soon. Teach's replacement?” Q asked.
“Teach isn’t going to retire after all.” Bond announced.
“What?!” Both Q and Izzy looked at him, astonished.
“Yeah, something about not being done yet.” He said absently, looking nervous about something else.
“You know you can speak to us, right?” Izzy reassured.
James inhaled and exhaled slowly.
“I'm the agent who will be retiring.” He finally let out. “I wanted to tell you first, but I also wanted to test the waters with Mallory first, and then he offered me a mentoring position, and I said yes. And I didn't think they would be moving quite so fast but they had been preparing for Teach's retirement so it was all already ready to roll out.”
“So you won't go on missions anymore?”
“No, maybe on a few work trips, but no missions. No more field work for me, per se.”
“Are you… happy?”
Bond carefully nodded.
“I didn't want to be leaving either of you behind again. Figured it out in therapy. Taking that time off really helped with the realization too. I was happy to come back to the office but I wasn’t really looking forward to leaving on a mission? And I've done my time for this job. Hell, I'm lucky to still be alive and mostly fully functional. I'm ready to enjoy my rest.”
He soon found himself sandwiched between his two lovers and laughed, relieved to know he truly had a place to call home and two people who rejoiced in knowing they would have him home with them all year long.
They used the picture they had taken of all of them and the cats in matching outfits as their holiday cards. It received many compliments.
After receiving hers, Q's mom demanded they visit for a repeat Christmas with Q's sister when she would come back from Germany sometime towards the end of January. She looked forward to seeing her son's partners and Q wanted them to meet his family. He was the only one to have any family left.
They were already planning to make a road trip out of it. They would pick up Q's sister in Heathrow and go from there to the north of Scotland in the highlands where Q's mother lived.
Q looked at his life, at the map fully laid out on the dining room table, at his two wonderful partners happily chatting and planning, at KitKat, carefully perched on the edge of the table as if she were overseeing things, and at Oreo, gently snoring away in his cat bed, and he thought that for nothing in the entire world would he have gone back in time and not entered that bar where he had first approached Izzy.
He couldn’t have predicted it then, but even despite the hurdles and the difficult and uncertain times, he had found more love than he ever imagined he could receive. Sometimes there was so much love stored in his heart that it felt fit to burst, but he wouldn't change a thing.
